Life Could Go On
by cr8vgrl
Summary: Life can always go on, but should it? When someone dies because of Susan, she is sure that her life should rightfully come to an end. A second chance is given, though, and it is up to Susan as to whether or not she will accept it. Can she face her fears?
1. Full Moons

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm trying something a little new, so tell me what you think! I don't own anything having to do with Narnia.**

Susan hated full moons. She hated them because hospitals were always a mess when there was a full moon out. Her grandmother, who had been a nurse, had always said that you never knew what would come through the door on a full moon night, and she had been right. The hospital's small emergency room was full. There were no more chairs for ailing people to sit down on, so they had begun lying on the floor, successfully blocking other people's paths. Children were crying uncontrollably, some people were trying to stop the blood flow in a certain appendage and only succeeding in making it worse, and other people were getting sick watching them at their task.

From where she was standing, helping a man with a bullet in his shoulder onto a gurney, Susan caught her sister's attention. Lucy, a couple of years younger, had sweat running down her forehead, causing her brown locks to stick to her neck. She looked up from the little girl she was attending and smiled wearily at Susan. When both patients had been taken care of, Lucy came over to stand by her sister. "I really wish I had my cordial," she whispered in a low voice so that no one but her sister could hear her.

Susan nodded, and her mind was swept back to Narnia. She could see the land, still green, and wild, and lovely. She could see the centaurs, the dwarves, the fauns, and all the other talking creatures gathered around her and her siblings when they had once been the greatest rulers of the land. And, clearer than life, she could see Caspian. Her heart ached as she thought about the young man who had probably been dead for centuries by now, since it had been five years since the Pevensies had last been in Narnia. Susan could still see him, smiling as he looked at her, fighting next to her, rescuing her and giving Lucy a chance to escape and find Aslan.

"Sue?" Lucy whispered, reluctant to bring her sister back from the world Susan so desperately wished that she had stayed in.

Susan shook her head, clearing the pleasant images out as she took in the scene of the real world once more. "Sorry," she apologized. "I'm alright."

Lucy placed a comforting hand on her sister's shoulder and then said, "Why don't you get the next patient? It'll take your mind off of him."

Susan did as she was told, and called for the next patient. A young boy was carried in, his leg bloody and twisted in completely the wrong direction. His parents gently put him on the examining table, cringing as the boy cried out, the transfer having jolted his leg. "What happened?" Susan asked the parents.

"He was run over by a car," the mother sobbed, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief. "The stupid driver wasn't looking where he was going." She looked up at Susan and asked, "Can you help him?"

Susan smiled at the mother, and although the woman would never be able to put her finger on just how Susan looked at that moment, anyone who had seen her in Narnia would have said that even in a nurse's uniform marred by blood and other curious splotches and her hair coming out of the careful bun she had put it into, Susan the Gentle had returned. "I'll certainly do my best," Susan assured her. She administered some morphine and waited for the pain medication to set in.

As soon as she began manipulating his leg, the boy began screaming, thrashing around and crying out. Susan bit her lip, her heart breaking as she heard his cries. "I thought you gave him some medication," the woman sobbed as her husband held down the thrashing boy so that he would not injure himself further.

Susan looked at her sadly and responded, "There's only a certain amount of pain that the medication can take away." She turned to the father, who was now stroking the boy's forehead. "Will you be able to hold him down while I tend to him?" she asked gravely, giving him time to refuse so that she could go and get someone else. Instead of refusing, the father nodded and tightened his grip on the boy. "Very well," Susan responded.

For the next twenty minutes, she carefully cut away the mangled flesh that would be of no use to her and then proceeded to set the bone in place and wrap it up tightly while the father kept his son from flailing about. When she had finished, Susan dried the boy's tears and gave him a comforting smile as she helped him down from the table. She retrieved a pair of crutches from the rapidly depleting store room and handed them to him, demonstrating which was the best way to use them. "There you are," she told him. "In a few weeks, you should be as good as new." She wagged a finger at him. "And no more playing out in the street."

For the first time, the boy managed a tight smile and nodded. "I won't," he promised.

Susan watched with a slight smile as the boy's parents helped him out the door. He reminded her of her younger brother, Edmund. A longing welled up in Susan's heart as she thought about her brothers, who had gone to America for the season. She missed them terribly. She missed Peter and his ever-present issues with still being a "child" in the world's eyes. She missed Edmund and his lack of common sense that never ceased to rile both she and Peter. She missed everything about them, and she would be counting the days until they returned home.

"Susan!" someone called sharply, breaking through Susan's thoughts and bringing her back to the hospital atmosphere in all its gory misery. She looked up, expecting to see some irate nurse glaring at her, but instead, she saw the head surgeon standing in front of the operating room door at the end of the hall. He beckoned to her with one hand. "I need your help!" he called, twisting his body, narrowly avoiding a gurney that was being wheeled into the operating room.

Susan swiftly glanced around the room, looking for Lucy. She found her sister already staring at her, and nodded so that Lucy would know where she was going. Susan ran down the hall and slipped into the operating room, washing her hands thoroughly and drying them on a towel before she turned around. When she did turn, she found all the staff in the room looking at her expectantly. Fearful that she had done something wrong, Susan asked, "Yes?"

The head surgeon answered for her. "Nothing," he said, putting her mind at ease. "They're just waiting for orders," he told her. Susan looked confused, so he clarified and made his statement even more idiot-proof. "They're waiting for your orders." He placed a scalpel in her hands. When she looked up with questioning eyes, he explained wearily, "I'm exhausted. I'm in no condition to be operating. I have to get some rest, and you're the best surgeon in this hospital." He raised a hand to ward off Susan's excuses. "I know that you haven't taken any classes, but I've taught you everything you need to know. This is a simple surgery." He patted her shoulder. "Take care of it. You'll be just fine." He smiled ruefully and said as he walked out the door, "You'd best not keep the patient waiting."

Susan watched as the door closed behind him, fear gripping her heart. She glanced down at the scalpel in her hands and was surprised that such a small tool could weigh so much. She turned back to the group that was waiting for her orders and pulled her mask up over her nose and mouth. "Let's get started," she said, repeating the words that the head surgeon so often used.

The surgery was on a middle-aged woman who was slightly overweight. Susan worked quietly, speaking only to ask for a certain tool, or to thank someone for making a certain cut in a certain place. She identified the problem in the woman's left kidney and cut away some of the fat bodies that had attached themselves to the organ. She began working on the kidney, all the while mentally reciting certain facts about the organ to keep herself calm.

The success would not last, though. Susan had just started to complete her work on the kidney when one of the surgeons spoke up, breaking the silence in the room. "She's hemorrhaging," he announced, his voice betraying a little uneasiness.

Susan's head whipped to the area he had pointed out and found that the blood was coming hard and fast. She pointed to two of the surgeons, keeping her voice surprisingly calm. "Stop the blooding," she ordered, and returned to the kidney.

She had just sewn the last stitch when one of the nurses cried, "We're losing her!"

The flurry that went on to bring the woman back to a stable condition would forever be imprinted on Susan's mind as she worked alongside the others to save the woman's life. But it was all to no avail. The hemorrhage had been stopped, but the woman was dying. The doctors stepped away from the table, their sign that they were finished with her. "No!" Susan cried. Without thinking about what she was doing, her scalpel made a quick, perfect incision close to her heart and she reached in, taking the organ in her hand and squeezing rhythmically, trying to stimulate the natural beating of the heart. "Come on!" she muttered, forcing herself to keep squeezing in a constant rhythm. Despair began to sink into her body as she realized that the woman was not responding.

She felt a hand at her shoulder, but never turned to see who it was that was trying to comfort her. She was past comforting.

"Time of death," someone said, "Seven forty-two."


	2. Attempted Drowning

"It was an accident!" a nurse told her.

"There was nothing you could do about it," a surgeon said to her.

"You did everything you could," she was assured.

"Don't blame yourself," said another nurse.

That admonition was the last straw. Susan's careful self control snapped and she whirled on the nurse, surprising everyone as she bellowed, "Then who do I blame?" She glared at the nurse. "Tell me," she ordered, her voice colder than ice. "Tell me exactly who I blame for that woman's death!" She pointed back at the surgery room where someone was probably wrapping the corpse and preparing to wheel it out, down to the morgue where it would be placed in an examining table to determine the exact cause of death. Susan already knew the cause of death. Death because of her failure. "Do you think she came in here to die?" Susan took a step close to the frightened nurse. "Do you?" Her voice rose to an almost hysterical pitch. "No! She came here to get help. She came here for someone to fix her problem so that she could go back to the family that she probably has waiting for her!"

The nurse scurried away, and Susan's pounding brain cleared enough to notice all the people that were standing around, eyeing her tentatively. After that display, no one wanted to be the next recipient of her self-fury. As she stood in the middle of the hallway, removed from the horrors of the operating room, Susan could almost imagine that the surgery had never happened. But the added blood stains on her uniform were too red, and the vivid images still in her mind were too real for it to have been imagined. A woman was dead because of her. She slumped against the nearest wall, desperately trying to regain some control.

Just as Susan began to take deep breaths of clean air, the operating room door opened and the shrouded body of the woman she had killed was wheeled out. A new wave of regret and despair washed over Susan and she forced herself to watch as the gurney disappeared around the corner. Suddenly, the room felt smaller. Susan felt as though the walls were crushing in around her. Her head became dizzy at an alarmingly quick rate and she stumbled toward the door of the emergency room, fighting her way past all the ailing people, reaching fresh air at last.

Outside, the air was brisker, much less stuffy than the air in the hospital room. The moon shone brightly above her head, taunting her with its brightness and its pureness. Susan glanced up and down the street, trying to decide where to go. She had to get away from the hospital. She had to get away from _herself_. She set off, not realizing that she was heading for the Thames River until she could smell it and see the lights of the boats that traveled along its current. She stood there for a long time, numb, frozen at the river's edge. She couldn't think, she couldn't feel. A tear coursed, unbidden, down her cheek and fell into the river, giving Susan and idea.

Momentarily, the vision of a sad Lucy flew through her brain, and the sad faces of her brothers flittered through as well, but Susan was too distraught to care. "A life for a life," she whispered, and stepped off the edge of solid ground, giving herself over to the current of the river.

The river was cold and foul and even though Susan tried not to let it get into her mouth, it somehow did, making her want to gag. She felt her body start to fight for air, despite the action it had just committed, but she forced herself downward, closer to the bottom that she couldn't see. Bits of trash floated up to meet her, and Susan tried to brush them away, disgusted. What an awful grave to have, even for a murderer!

Had she been paying more attention, or maybe if her brain had been supplied with a little more oxygen, Susan would've noticed that her skin was feeling painful pricks that had nothing to do with the rusty tin cans that had previously bumped into her. She felt only a slight thrumming on her skin and surmised it to be an effect of drowning. Her eyes closed, waiting for the end, and soon, she felt a rushing, like she was staying in place but the water was rushing up and around her. Something hauled her roughly and slammed her against something solid and hard. Susan felt a large hand slapping her back, forcing all the water that had slipped into her lungs back out again, despite her efforts to hold it back.

Once she had coughed up all the water in her lungs, she was released and fell to the ground, gasping. Susan forced her eyes open slightly and blinked, squinting against the light that was shining down on her. She saw a mast, and coils of rope, and realized that she was on a boat. She looked around and saw all the men staring at her and she blinked. These men were nothing like the sailors back in London. These men had tunics and long trousers and swords hanging from their belts. They had mangy hair that desperately needed combing and cutting, and their teeth! Susan shuddered, which caused her to shiver as the air around her teased her shivering form. She looked up and saw the bright blue sky, and the cause of the unexpected light in her eyes: the sun.

"Wha-" she began.

"Captain!" one of the grungy men called. "She talks!"

Susan was about to retort that of course she talked, but a cabin door opened and the person that stepped out made her forget all her quips. The man that stood in front of her was tall and heavy, with a ragged shirt and trousers with a long, thick piece of rope tied around them. His eyes were bright and leering, and Susan felt herself shift away from him unconsciously. His boots made an ominous clicking sound as he strode over to stand in front of her.

"Does she?" he asked in an odd accent that Susan could not quite place. "Does she indeed?" He grinned at her as he bent down to look her levelly in the eyes. "Welcome back to the land o' the living," he said. "I have a feeling that you're going to be a great investment in my little business." He pulled her roughly onto her feet and thrust her toward one of the crew. "Take her below and put her with the other girls," he commanded.

Just as Susan was about to be pushed down into the hull of the ship, she heard the boy in the crow's nest cry out, "Land ho! Winding Arrow Port!" And then, everything clicked. The accent of the captain was decidedly Calormene, Winding Arrow was a river on the south side of the world, and the ship, filled with girls in the hull could only be a slave ship.

How it had happened, Susan didn't know, but now, she understood. She was in Narnia.


	3. Familiar Faces

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks so much for reviewing so far. Here you go! Hope you enjoy!**

The hull was everything a hull had been thirteen hundred years ago when Susan had been queen. By the smell of this particular hull, it had probably been around for thirteen hundred years! It was dark, and dank, and it was loud. There were almost thirty girls on the boat, and most of them, having heard the cry of, "Land ho!" had started whimpering and moaning, clutching at their friends and nearest neighbor in fear. Susan wove her way through the little crowd and tucked herself into a corner where she could see everything that would go on.

While she waited for the agonizingly slow task of docking the boat to end, Susan's mind raced. Slave trading had been a terrible act that Narnians had forbidden for centuries. Alsan had given the land to them with the careful instruction that they were not to treat anyone lesser than them as slaves of any kind. They were to be gentle and loving to all. So why would a slave trader be in Narnia? For that matter, why had _she_ ended up in Narnia? Aslan had told her five years ago that she had learned all that she could possibly have needed to learn, so why was she here? Why had she not drowned?

Susan shivered again and pulled at a section of her wet clothes that was sticking to her skin. With her head clearer, Susan remembered feeling the painful pricks on her skin just before she was pulled out of the water. Could those pricks have been like the ones that had transported her and her siblings away from the station five years ago? Susan shook her head, more to get her wet hair out of her face than to disagree with herself. Now that she was in Narnia, what was she supposed to do? Did Aslan consider this fair trade: a life of regret in London for a life of servitude here?

The questions were still flying around her head when the captain came down into the hull to stand in front of the girls. "Ladies," he addressed them, and Susan felt the urge to roll her eyes. "In a few moments, we will go up onto the deck and you will see a town. There, we will go to the stage in front of the dock and I will see just what generous patrons you will have." He seemed to look right at Susan as he warned, "Don't try to run, or do anything equally as foolish. I have men placed all around the outskirts of the town who'll bring you right back. If you should try and run, once they've brought you back, I'll have to punish you." Whimpers rose at this and Susan felt her anger rise. He was convincing these girls, with an educated speech that was not his own, that he was their only hope. If they would just allow themselves to be sold off, making him a profit, they would have better lives than if they tried to run. She glared at him, but the captain ignored her. "Shall we?" he asked, and took the first girl by the arm, leading her up the stairs.

The crew forced the girls to file out in a straight line, and Susan found herself in the middle of the group. As they all passed the captain on their way down the gangplank, he caught sight of Susan in the middle of the group and pulled her out of line. "I'm saving you for last," he hissed, and his harsh breath make Susan want to recoil. Her years as a queen had served her well, though, and she stood her ground, lifting her chin just slightly. When the last of the girls had filed out, the captain dragged Susan along with him down the gangplank, and when she saw the world around her, she couldn't help but gasp.

Narnia. The land where she had ruled as Queen Susan the Gentle lay before her, stretched out just as she had remembered it. The port looked exactly like it had five years ago, but now, instead of just Telmarine soldiers milling around, the port was alive with all races of creatures, buying and trading. There were a few badgers arguing over the price of fish, some centaurs getting fed by a shy inn keeper who was watching them in awe, and there were a few dwarves, grumbling over the tobacco in their pipes.

Susan looked around, greedily wanting to see more and more of the land she had loved for so long. A smile flittered across her lips when she saw a group of young children cheerfully invite a young dwarf to play with them, an unheard of act before Caspian had come into power. The thought of Caspian made the smile disappear from Susan's face. There were only two options that she could present to herself to explain the situation she was in. One was that the slave traders were going to do this trading on a spur of the moment gamble, in the hopes of gathering as much money as possible before someone alerted the king that there were unlawful acts going on in his realm. The other, and this one made Susan's heart sink, was the possibility that the new king had abolished the laws again slavery in Narnia.

As she was pulled down to the dock, Susan was more and more convinced that this trading business was on a gamble. No one was waiting at the docks, like they usually did when expecting cargo, and there were no large gatherings of people milling around. Everyone at the port seemed to be doing something, or going somewhere. Lost in thought, Susan never heard the trading begin until she herself was pulled roughly onto the crude and hurriedly-made stage. "What would ye give for her?" the captain asked the crowd, fighting to keep his accent covered in his speech. "She's a fine one to look at, isn't she?"

"Is she a hard worker?" someone from the crowd asked. Susan bristled, but then reminded herself of what she had just done in the hospital back in London. Though it seemed so far away now, she had still done a terrible thing. This was just punishment.

"She's one of the hardest workers in this lot," the captain said proudly, and Susan raised an eyebrow in disgust. It still amazed her how people could lie through their teeth with such ease.

The bidding started, and as the price grew higher, Susan hung her head. She had always hated people being traded and bartered like pieces of furniture, and now she was the one being bartered for. She managed a mental smile. It _was_ rather ironic.

"I'll give you five hundred gold pieces for her!"

Susan's head snapped up in surprise. A gasp went through the crowd, and even the captain looked dumbfounded for a moment. Then, utter glee replaced his surprise and he asked, "Who said that?"

Through the crowd, a young man pushed his way to the front. People murmured and turned bright red, and Susan let out an involuntary gasp. The young man was tall and thin with long, jet black hair. His tunic was rather plain, but the color signified stature. His riding pants and boots were immaculately clean and the horse he led was strong and regal. His eyes fell on Susan, and his mystified smile lit up his face.

"Caspian," Susan whispered breathlessly.


	4. Going Home

The captain actually looked uneasy as he glanced back at Caspian. "Your Majesty, I-um-" he stuttered, unable to formulate a complete thought as the King of Narnia advanced toward him.

"You're not sure of what to say?" Caspian asked, amused, but trying to hide it. Try as he might, he couldn't help but let his eyes flicker back several times to look at Susan, who was still standing there, staring at him with her mouth hanging open as he began walking closer to the stage. "Perhaps it would be something to the effect of, 'I had no idea that slave trading was _against the law_ and I certainly didn't realize that these girls' parents have _put out warrants for my arrest_, and of course, I had no idea that if I didn't _take the money and leave immediately, that I might find someone's sword in my back__._" Caspian looked levelly at the trader. "Was it something like that?" He held out a velvet pouch

The trader grabbed the pouch and whirled on his heel, taking great strides toward his ship, calling for certain men to perform certain tasks as he went along. The crowd dispersed, but all Susan could focus on was Caspian. He looked no different than when she had left him the first time. He was looking at her the same way, and they stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. Finally, Caspian reached up, grabbing Susan's waist gently. "Five more minutes?" he asked as he lifted her down. The familiar phrase from so long ago made Susan laugh and she threw her arms around the young man as he pulled her close.

"Caspian," she whispered against his neck, hugging him even tighter.

"I'm here," he whispered back, smoothing back her unruly hair. After a moment, he set her down on her feet, pushing her back at arm's length. "Not that I mind, but what are _you_ doing here?"

Susan's face fell as she looked up at her friend's excited expression. "I'm not sure," she replied honestly. Her eyes clouded over with something that Caspian could not understand. It almost looked like pain.

He decided to brush it off and not press her until she was ready to tell him. "We have plenty of time for you to decide," he teased. He turned and motioned to one of his guards. "Marcus, please take the young girls, find out where they came from, and send them back on their proper ships." The guard nodded and hurried away. "You, my dear Susan," he said mock seriously, "must stay right here with me. After all, I paid good money for you."

"Too much good money," Susan muttered. Caspian glanced sharply at her, but Susan wasn't looking. She was watching the trader's ship sail out of the port. "Why _did_ you pay so much for me?" she finally asked. "The betting was only on forty gold pieces when you butted in."

Caspian grinned, glad to see that Practical Susan was back. "Well, I must admit, first of all, that you quite surprised me when I saw you standing there on that stage. One of the centaurs brought the news to me that illegal trading was going to be initiated, so I decided to ride out and expose the traders." His eyes softened as he looked at Susan. "When I saw you standing up there, in those bloody clothes, I couldn't believe my eyes. Aslan had said that you weren't coming back."

"I know," Susan replied, slightly embarrassed by her bloodstained uniform.

"And then you just looked so sad," Caspian continued as though he had not heard her. "Once I got over my shock at seeing you, I realized that I had to save you. I simply blurted out the first figure I thought of." He grinned down at Susan. "It seems that I'm always saving you."

Susan returned the smile with a genuinely happy one of her own. "So it would seem," she responded. She was dying to ask how long it had been in Narnian years since she had left, but Caspian beat her to it.

"But tell me everything about London," he encouraged, leading her to over to his horse, who had been patiently standing in the exact same spot, waiting for his rider to return. "Did Lucy and Edmund and Eustace get back alright last week?"

Susan's jaw dropped and she whirled around to stare at Caspian. "Last week?" she cried, stunned.

It was Caspian's turn to look surprised and he answered, "Yes, last week. I just got back from my voyage." He gazed at Susan and asked, "How long has it been in your time?"

"It's been almost four years," Susan responded, amazed. She had expected Narnian years to fly by faster than London ones, not the other way around. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm just a little stunned, that's all. Yes, they all got back just fine. Safe and sound."

Caspian smiled and grabbed the reins of his horse. "It's no problem," he assured her. "I imagine it must be rather unsettling to not know which point of history you're going to fall into."

Susan smiled. "Something like that," she replied.

Just then, a centaur made his way gracefully up to the pair and bowed before Susan. "Queen Susan," he said politely. Even though her clothes were a mess, Susan still tilted her head as gracefully as she always had, acknowledging the centaur's kind greeting. "My King," he said, turning to Caspian. "The girls are almost completely sorted into groups. Many will travel tonight, but a few will stay at the inn until morning when there's a cargo ship to take them to their rightful lands."

"Thank you very much," Caspian said, bowing slightly. He turned to Susan. "I hope you don't mind, but I've made my residence at Cair Paravel." He blushed as he said, "It made you seem not so far away." Susan felt her heart speed up, but Caspian didn't give her a chance to respond. "As I'm sure you know," he told her, "it's a long journey. You may ride with me, or I'm sure that Oriekris would be glad to carry you on his back for the journey."

"I'd be honored," the centaur replied, but Susan realized what such an honor would lower him to. No one rode a centaur unless there was a great, urgent need to do so. A ride to Cair Paravel did not fit that need.

"I thank you for your generosity," Susan replied, surprised that the courteous speech of her ruling days was coming back to her so easily, "but no, thank you. I shall ride with Cas-your king."

Caspian smiled. "Formalities are a thing of old," he told her. "Everyone close to me calls me Caspian, and only Oriekris refuses me that pleasure." He mounted his horse and then reached down to give Susan a hand up. As he lifted her in front of him, they exchanged a smile. Caspian led his party away from the port, and they were off once more.

Caspian didn't press her on the way back to Cair Paravel, and his comfortable silence gave Susan a valuable opportunity to drink in all the lush sights of Narnia. The trees waved as she passed, and Susan nodded back, feeling almost giddy with delight that even the trees remembered her. As her head whipped from side to side, Susan failed to feel Caspian smile against her hair as he watched her return to her former self. Whatever was bothering her, he hoped, would be let out through the relaxing atmosphere of his land.

With hard riding, Cair Paravel could be reached in one day, and as the sun shone through the last line of trees, illuminating the beautiful castle, Susan sighed. She was home.


	5. Aslan's Arrival

Cair Paravel looked exactly as it had during Susan's reign as queen. Each tier of the castle seemed to sparkle as the sun touched its walls for the last few minutes before sunset. For a moment, Susan stopped breathing, for Cair Paravel was breathtaking. Flags waved cheerfully from the turrets, and almost every one of the windows in the castle was open, as though the castle was drinking in as much fresh air as it could possibly procure.

Caspian reined in his horse and spoke. "Aslan helped us rebuild it back to its former glory," he explained. He looked at Susan, watching as her eyes roved every inch of the castle. "Is it how you remember it?"

"Yes," Susan breathed, and it was. Caspian nudged his horse forward and the party cantered on, reaching the drawbridge. Caspian waved to the dwarf in the tower and the bridge was let down. By the time it was completely down, and the party had made it across, the gate had already been raised. The party cantered into the courtyard and Susan gasped. Everything about the palace was exactly as it had been thirteen hundred years ago. Even the embellishments along the courtyard walls were the same, in the exact same places.

Most of the staff at Cair Paravel was standing on the front steps when the small party rode up. Susan heard gasps when certain members saw her sitting astride one of the horses. "Queen Susan!" many cheered calling out to her and waving. Susan smiled and waved back while Caspian and the other riders dismounted. He reached up and gently pulled her down from the saddle, setting her on her feet. Trufflehunter, the kind badger that Susan had made friends with the last time she had come to Narnia, nearly bowled her over in his excitement. "Queen Susan!" he cried, hugging her leg and accidentally scratching her with his claws. "I'm so happy, and rather surprised, to see you!"

Susan bent down, putting her arms around the sweet, furry animal and hugging him tightly. "And I, you," she responded. She smiled at him one last time and then glanced up at the staff that was anxiously waiting to hug her. "My friends," she exclaimed, and everyone, even a couple of centaurs, poured forth, crowding around her and exclaiming over her attire. Susan was slightly embarrassed until one of the centaurs graciously offered to help bathe and dress her in more appropriate clothes. Susan smiled her thanks and turned back to all the animals that had started to return to their demur demeanors now that the excitement had worn off. A few even looked embarrassed at having hugged their queen without her permission.

"Come, my friends," Susan said, trying to put everyone at ease. "Really, I'm too tired to behead any of you." A chorus of laughter rose up, and the slight tension eased immediately.

Caspian smiled and asked, "Shall we put the horses away and then we can hear all the tales from London?" Susan's face paled, and Caspian amended, "Or, we could tell you of our adventures at sea, although you've probably heard them from your siblings already."

Susan smiled once more, but the action felt forced. "I'd like that very much," she said, but Caspian no longer seemed to be listening.

A hush went up from the crowd then, and Susan turned to see what had captured Caspian's attention. When her eyes focused on the figure, she whispered, "Aslan."

The lion slowly walked through the crowd as the animals parted and kneeled before him in awe, stopping in front of Susan and Caspian. Caspian and Susan sank to the ground, but it was Susan that the lion had come to see. "Rise," he said, his deep, rich voice echoing off the walls of the castle. Everyone rose slowly, and only Susan refused to look up at the lion's beautiful face. The lion stepped closer to her, touching her forehead with his warm tongue. "My child," he said, "Look at me."

Susan looked up, and in that moment, her eyes shown forth everything that had happened in her life since the last time she had seen Aslan. The pain, bitterness, practicality and foolishness of her actions was revealed to him, telling him the story that he already knew. He nodded sadly, his golden mane shaking to and fro as he said, "I know." Aslan turned to Caspian and said, "Before Queen Susan gets settled into her life here in Narnia, I would wish to speak with her." Susan's heart leapt at this statement, but she kept quiet, dread seeping into her soul as she realized that she would have to talk with Aslan alone. "Would you grant us permission to traverse your shores?" Aslan continued.

Caspian blurted, "Susan's staying?" At a raised eyebrow from Aslan, he stuttered, "O-of course. Yes, of course you may." He knew well that Aslan didn't have to ask, but was doing so out of politeness. "I'll take care of the horses," he offered, taking the reins from Susan's hands.

Susan had no choice but to follow Aslan, and the staff watched her go, a small, girlish figure next to the Great Lion. Aslan led her down to the shore at his usual, unhurried pace. Susan's fingers twitched at her sides anxiously as she waited for Aslan to speak. In reality, it did not take him long, but to Susan, it felt like a lifetime. "Why did you try and murder yourself?" he asked in the same tone as he might have remarked on what a lovely sunset it was turning out to be.

Susan tensed, unwilling to remember the details. "I killed someone," she responded, her voice shaking slightly.

"On purpose?"

Susan felt her anger rise and she snapped, "Of course not!" A moment of silence reigned, and Common Sense Susan drifted away. "I'm sorry, Aslan" she whispered.

"Why do you feel so guilty if you killed the woman on accident?" Aslan asked, startling Susan because she had not given him specifics. She berated herself. This was Aslan she was talking to. He knew everything.

"Because it was by my hand that she died. I couldn't save her." Susan hung her head, and was surprised when Aslan suddenly stopped walking, turning to face her instead.

"So that gives you a reason to try and kill yourself?" he asked.

Susan nodded. "It seemed logical," she responded. "A life for a life."

Aslan growled, and the deep, almost predatory sound made Susan recoil. "You, Susan Pevensie, have always been the most difficult Daughter of Eve," he said severely. "Your logic stains the good senses you possess. Many times, as Queen here and child in your world, you watched as an opportunity came toward you, and your logic would force you to examine it until it passed out of your reach. Where Lucy had faith, you had disbelief and caution. When Lucy followed me blindly, you reached out and tried to stop her."

Susan could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks at his words. "I didn't think-" she began.

"No you didn't," Aslan responded, cutting her off. "You didn't give any thought to what it meant to simply end your life because of a mistake. You gave barely a passing thought to how this action of yours would affect your siblings and your parents, and you certainly never thought about being the one to go and comfort that woman's family."

Susan hung her head even lower, ashamed by what she had done. "Why did you bring me here?" she asked. "Why, if I'm so awful, didn't you just let me die?"

Aslan stepped closer to Susan, and she looked up into his face, surprised to see kindness, and not anger, in his features. "Oh, Susan," he sighed. "It's because I love you. That act showed me that you still have much to learn. When you last came to Narnia, you had learned everything about the world that I could teach you. Now, you need to learn about yourself." He shook his head. "In a way, you are dead. If I were to send you back right now, you would die instantly, but I have greater things in mind for you."

Susan frowned. "Like what?" she asked.

Aslan responded, "Your rescue from the hands of the slave trader will not pass by the Calormenes unnoticed. They will consider it an insult against their country for King Caspian to treat one of their people the way he did."

Susan understood immediately. "A war!" she cried.

Aslan nodded. "Yes, but don't worry, my child. The battle will go well if you've learned your lesson by then."

He turned to go, but Susan called out to him. "Aslan!" When he turned back around, waiting for her to speak, she asked, "Will my siblings come and help me?"

Aslan shook his head. "Your siblings will not come back until the final battle over Narnia is waged. You must weather this journey on your own."

"Aslan?" Susan asked, hoping that he would allow her one more question before he left.

"Hm?" he asked.

"Will I have to go home after my lesson is learned?" she asked.

Aslan shook his head. "You cannot go back, Daughter of Eve. As I said before, if you should, you'll die." He smiled as only he could do. "I would suggest that you make your home at Cair Paravel as queen once more."

With that implication given, he was gone, and Susan was left standing on the beach by herself as the sun kissed the horizon, signifying the end of the day.


	6. Awakening Love and Making Acquaintances

**A/N: This chapter is written for and dedicated in honor of my awesome uncle. He's my Lenny, and he's the coolest!**

Susan walked for a long time on the shore, aimlessly walking up and back as the waves lapped at her feet. She'd kicked her shoes off a long time ago, and she dug her feet into the sand. Looking out over the waves, she could see the moon, full even in Narnia, glowing brightly against the waves, making them look like they were made of crystal as they pounded the surf. She looked back at Cair Paravel and smiled to see that every room was now cheerfully lit. The castle seemed to be a beacon of warmth and comfort to her at that moment.

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asked.

Susan jumped, startled, and turned to find Caspian standing a few feet away from her, watching her pace. "Sure," she responded invitingly, and the action was not forced. As Caspian walked toward her, though, Susan felt all sorts of butterflies flying up inside her, and her gaze softened. Even after five years, she was still in love with him. She had always loved him.

"What're you thinking about?" Caspian asked, noticing her gaze as he drew closer.

Susan took a moment to think. What _did_ she tell him? 'I was thinking about how much I still love you' didn't seem quite the right way to go. "Life," she finally responded.

Caspian's face shone forth with hopefulness. "Are you going to make your life here?" he asked. "In Narnia?"

Susan nodded, smiling up at her friend. "Yes," she told him. "I'm here to stay."

Caspian picked her up and whirled her around, and she laughed, crying out for him to let her down, and stop being such a fool. Caspian set her down and looked mock severely at her. "If I can't be a fool over a good reason, then what can I be a fool over?"

Susan shook her head. "I don't know," she said with a sigh, and to Caspian, the action sounded weary. "Aslan told me that I needed to stop being so logical. I've let so many things fly by in my life because I stopped to examine them for too long." Here was her chance! Without realizing it, their conversation had rolled back around to what she wanted to say. She looked up at Caspian almost shyly, and said quietly, "Like I pushed you away because I'm thirteen hundred years older than you."

She waited for his reaction, waited for him to say that she was too late, that he had found someone else, but he never did. He just pulled her close and kissed her almost as desperately as she had kissed him upon having to leave last time. When he finally pulled away, Caspian leaned his head against Susan's, and asked breathlessly, "Does it bother you now?"

Looking up into his eyes, and seeing the love there, Susan's heart gave a little leap. "No," she whispered, and Caspian drew her lips to his once more.

They stayed together for a long time, not saying anything, just looking out over the ocean as the shadows of the night grew deeper and more elongated. Susan snuggled into the crook of Caspian's arm a little deeper as the cool breeze teased her skin through the thin material of her nurse's uniform. Although the action was slight, Caspian noticed and immediately pulled her up, apologizing for not having thought about her clothes. "You must be freezing," he added, glancing over the outfit, noting that she'd even put her shoes back on to quell the cold.

Susan nodded and answered truthfully. "I'm a little cold," she said, "but every minute was worth it." She smiled up at Caspian, who in return, kissed her gently again.

As he pulled away and began leading her up to the castle, Caspian smiled and said, "I will never get tired of that." Both of them laughed, and Susan hesitantly reached for Caspian's hand. He took it eagerly, fitting her small hand into his larger one as though their hands had been made only to hold each other's hands.

When Caspian and Susan reached the castle, one of the centaurs appeared from the kitchen. Her gleaming eyes took in the couple's hands, but she said nothing. She only bowed slightly and said, "Your Majesties, dinner is almost ready, so I must insist that I steal Queen Susan away to dress her properly for sup."

Caspian let go, unwillingly, of Susan's hand and said, "Very well. Thank you, Salisse." He turned and bowed slightly to Susan. "I'll wait for you at dinner."

Susan nodded. "I'll be there," she promised.

"Are you sure?" Caspian teased. "You came so suddenly that you might disappear just as quickly if I let you go."

The centaur smiled at their banter and spoke up. "I assure you, My Lord Caspian, that I shall not let her out of my sight. She'll be well looked after."

Susan was led away, up through the many corridors of the castle, and she received a thrill of euphoria as she realized that she knew exactly where they were going. "My old room?" she asked excitedly.

The centaur nodded. "King Caspian asked Aslan to help him remember what every little detail had looked like." Her kind eyes bore into Susan's. "He missed you terribly."

"And I missed him, too," Susan whispered.

The centaur opened the door to Susan's "old" new room and smiled. "I would suggest a June wedding," she said. "Everything in Narnia is beautiful in June." Susan blushed and shook her head, following Salisse into her room. She drank everything in, barely noticing when Salisse left her to go draw her bath. The room, _her_ room, was the exact way she remembered it having been. She ran her hand over the sheets on the bed, tracing the familiar gold leaf pattern. She let a smile flit across her face. This was the room where so many logical dreams took place. Now, she would fill the room with illogical, wonderful, and inspiring dreams.

Susan bathed and Salisse helped wash all the salt out of her hair, leaving it wet, yet brown and glossy once more. Salisse had laid out a gown for Susan, and the latter immediately recognized it as one of her own. It was the coronation gown that she had worn, and then had altered for more practical, everyday use. Her smile almost hurt as she pulled the dress over her head and donned her shoes. Salisse came and braided her hair in the Narnian, twisted style, and then placed a thin golden circlet on her head.

"There," she said with satisfaction. "You're ready."

Susan looked in the mirror standing against the wall and smiled. She looked like a queen once more. She turned back to Salisse. "Thank you so much," she told the centaur.

The centaur bowed and pushed back a single stray hair in a motherly gesture. "You're most welcome, My Queen," she said. "You'd better get downstairs. Dinner is almost about to begin." She smiled, and her eyes twinkled. "I'm sure you can find your way down."

Susan smiled and thanked the centaur again, and then almost flew out the door in her excitement of seeing more of the castle that had been her home so long ago. For any other newcomer, the castle would've seemed confusing and labyrinth-like, but to Susan, it simply seemed like home. She made it down to the hall in almost record time, forcing herself to calm down and to stop looking like an eager, eighteen-year-old girl. She pushed the doors back and found the hall bustling with activity. Badgers and dwarves and centaurs were scurrying about, setting places and dishes with the utmost care.

"Your Majesty?" piped a squeaky little voice, and Susan looked down to find a little she-mouse standing before her, nervously rubbing her paws together.

Susan gathered her skirts around her legs and then bent down so that she could be on somewhat of an eye level with the mouse. "Yes?" she asked kindly.

"His Majesty requests that you meet him in the parlor before dinner," she squeaked. She lifted her paw and pointed the way to the parlor.

"Thank you," Susan replied, reaching out to stroke the mouse's silky fur. The mouse giggled, and Susan stood to go find the parlor.

As she slipped into the small room across from the dining hall, Susan found large bookcases lining the walls on two sides. A couple of chairs occupied the middle of the room, and a large, cozy fireplace warmed the other wall. It was at this wall, standing with one arm on the mantle of the fireplace, that Caspian stood, conversing quietly with a large, black panther. The panther was curled up at his feet, nodding occasionally as Caspian talked. When Caspian turned slightly, he caught sight of Susan and smiled. "Come in," he said, motioning to her with his hand.

The panther rose to his paws as Susan entered. Caspian smiled at her, his eyes taking in her fresh appearance. "You're looking much better, and very beautiful," he complimented her.

Susan blushed. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Caspian turned to the panther. "Susan, may I introduce you to one of my most trusted friends?" he asked. "Queen Susan of Old, this is Lenny."

Susan smiled at the regal panther and dipped into a curtsy. "I'm very honored to meet you, Sir Lenny," she said. "A good friend of Caspian's is always a joy to meet."

The panther gave a graceful bow, bringing one paw to his chest as he said, "Likewise." His cat eyes sparkled as he said, "Caspian's been telling me all about you, Queen Susan."

"Oh dear," Susan replied, glancing at Caspian. "I hope that most of it was good."

The panther chuckled, but the sound came out more like a meow. "It's all been _very_ good."

Susan blushed as she snuck a glance at Caspian, only to find him looking at her. In an effort to change the subject, Susan seated herself in one of the chairs and asked, "Tell me about yourself, Sir Lenny. If you don't mind me saying so, your name is a rather unusual one."

The big cat curled up once more on the hearth of the fireplace and replied, "It's true. Lenny is not a very common name, even among Talking Panthers." His tail twitched when it got too close to the warm fire and he hastily moved it out of the way. "I chose the name myself. My mother never did like it. She thought it was silly, but really," his eyes rolled at this, "I can't abide being in a room surrounded by other panthers and our cat cousins, and hearing ten different animals respond to 'Spot.'" Susan dared to smile as Lenny continued. "Then there's always 'Mittens' and," he shuddered, "'Blackie.'" He practically spit the last name out, and Susan laughed out loud along with Caspian.

The panther seemed to take offense, for he sat up, licking one paw and rubbing it over his chest. If he had been a nobleman, or even human for that matter, Susan could've envisioned him indignantly straightening his overcoat, doffing his hat, and taking his leave in a huff. But, the offense did not sink too deep, for Lenny began to smile, and the smile only grew wider, showing two rows of perfect, gleaming cat teeth. "I guess it _was_ rather funny," he conceded, sending Susan and Caspian into another fit of laughter.

By the time dinner was served, Susan had found one more good friend from Narnia.


	7. Picnic and Messengers

Susan woke the next morning slightly disoriented. She stretched, lifting her hands above her head as she arched. Her fingers came in contact with the polished wood of a headboard, and when she opened her eyes, everything came rushing back. At first, a wave of pain washed over her, but then a wave of happiness followed closely as she remembered who was downstairs waiting for her. A smile once again graced her face, and she even let out a giggle. She was back in Narnia and she was going to make the most of this new opportunity.

She pushed back the covers and stepped out of bed, jumping from one elegant rug to another so that her bare feet would not have to come in contact with the chilly stone floor. She pulled off her nightgown, and looked around for the dress she had worn last night. She had left it hanging over the chair by the fireplace, but it was nowhere to be found. Susan frowned and wove her way over to the closet along the far wall experimentally. Pulling open the heavy doors, she found two dresses hanging there, waiting for her to choose one of them. Delighted, Susan pulled out a purple dress, recognizing it as the one she had been wearing when she had met Caspian for the first time.

There was a slight tap at the door just as she finished squirming into her dress. "Come in," she called, and found Salisse peeking her head in around the door.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," she said cheerfully. "I didn't know if you'd still be asleep, so I tried to be as quiet as possible."

Susan smiled. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness," she said. "Could I get you to lace up the back of my dress?" The centaur nodded and stepped into the room, her nimble fingers easily trying the laces in a matter of minutes.

"There you are, Your Majesty," she said, stepping back to survey her work. "Breakfast is almost ready to be served, so you might want to hurry down to the dining hall. King Caspian is waiting for you." The mischievous smile on Salisse's face made Susan blush.

"That's so kind of him," she murmured, scurrying out of the room. As she made her way down to the dining room, though, she couldn't help smile. She loved him, and he loved her. What did it matter if everyone in the castle knew it? Susan decided that it didn't matter at all. She threw her braid flippantly over her shoulder and made her way to the parlor, knowing that Caspian would be waiting there for her.

When she slid open the door to the small room open, Susan once again found Caspian and Lenny in the room. Both looked up when she slipped in, and both greeted her eagerly. "Good morning," they said, almost simultaneously.

Susan smiled and settled herself in one of the chairs across from Caspian. "Good morning," she replied. "It's a lovely day outside."

Lenny gave Caspian a pointed look, and Caspian cleared his throat. "Yes, it is," he said, "which is why I was hoping you'd go on a picnic with me after breakfast."

Susan smiled, and Caspian saw how her eyes brightened at the thought of a picnic. "That sounds wonderful," she replied, nodding eagerly.

"Good," Caspian said, relaxing now that he had asked the question and she had accepted. "We'll go after breakfast."

* * *

"Got everything?" Caspian asked later as they secured all the picnic items to the horses' saddles.

Susan nodded. "I think so," she said. Turning to the horse she asked, "How does that feel?"

The horse whinnied and shook her head. "I suppose I'm alright," she said with a sigh, "but the centaurs in the kitchen have packed you enough food to feed all of Narnia!"

Susan smiled at the mare. "Should I take some off?" she asked, winking at Caspian. "I could always take out the extra carrots, and the apples, and don't forget the warm gruel in there." She made a show of peeking into the basket. "Yes," she said. "I suppose those could go."

Upon hearing that there was something in there for her, the mare tossed her head once more. "Oh, don't worry about it," she said. "I can carry it all."

Susan smiled and Caspian bit back a laugh as the two riders swung up into the saddles and trotted out of the courtyard. Once over the bridge, Caspian led the way, taking so many twists and turns that even the mare, who had been born and raised in Narnia, asked, "Where are you taking us, Your Majesty?"

Caspian turned in the saddle and smiled mysteriously. "It's a secret place of mine," he told her. None of you have ever been there before." He would say no more, so Susan and the mare lapsed into silence, enjoying the lovely, yet mystifying ride.

Finally, Caspian pulled the horses to a stop and climbed down. "We're here," he said as he lifted Susan down, fighting the urge to not let go of her.

Susan frowned and looked at the wood around her, and the wall of bushes in front of her. "Where's 'here'?" she asked.

Caspian smiled and took her hand. "Follow me," he instructed. He led Susan and the two horses up to the wall of bushes and stopped. Susan watched as he seemed to peer through the bushes, looking for something. "Aha!" he said after a while and grabbed a small ribbon that had been tied to the bush, pulling to the left as he did so.

It was as though a curtain was being drawn away, and Susan stepped into a small, grassy meadow, looking around in awe. The peak of Mt. Pire could be seen in the distance, snow covering the top of the mountain like a cap. The meadow itself had lush, tall grasses and plenty of trees surrounding it. Susan heard giggling and turned to find one tree swaying merrily, although no strong wind blew. The colors of this place were vibrant and alive! Flowers popped up everywhere, showing off their beautiful colors to Susan's curious eyes.

"Do you like it?" Caspian asked, and Susan turned back to him, smiling.

"I love it!" she exclaimed.

Caspian smiled. "I thought you might."

They had their picnic lunch there, laughing and chatting while the two horses grazed at the other end of the meadow, giving the humans some privacy. But inevitably, Caspian finally broached the subject that Susan wished he hadn't. "What brought you here, Sue?" he asked gently, his eyes showing understanding, no matter the answer.

Susan looked down at her plate, suddenly losing her appetite. She took a deep breath. This was Caspian. She could tell him. "I'm here because I tried to kill myself." An intake of breath from Caspian caused Susan to stop for a moment. "I had a logical reason!" she protested, and then winced. So this was what Aslan had been talking about. She'd been viewing even the rash decisions in her life as forgivable because she had a "logical" reason for them. "I take it back," she said quietly. "I have no reason at all, except stupidity."

Caspian had gotten over his shock enough to manage to ask, "What happened, Sue?"

Susan closed her eyes, forcing herself to remember every detail. "I worked in a hospital, remember when I told you about those?" Caspian nodded, so Susan continued. "The head surgeon was exhausted and needed someone to take over for him. He chose me, and I killed the woman I was working on."

"On purpose?" Caspian asked, just as Aslan had done.

Susan shook her head, staying more controlled than last time. "No. It was an accident. She was hemorrhaging, and I couldn't stop the blood flow. The other doctors gave up, but I tried to save her." Susan hung her head. "I killed her," she whispered. "It was a simple surgery. She wasn't supposed to die!" She looked up and met Caspian's gaze, and he saw tears in her eyes.

"But she did," he explained. "And from what you've said, it sounds like you tried your hardest to save her." He used his left hand to tilt her chin up. "It's not your fault that she died. Hemorrhages can happen to anyone, and sometimes, there's nothing you can do to stop it."

Susan nodded, convinced. "That might be so, but I promise you that I'll never operate on someone again. I'll never put someone's life in danger like that." She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in, and then she quietly spoke. "But no matter what, it's still my fault that after that, I tried to drown myself." She told Caspian the whole story, ending with the part about the slave trader. "You know what went on from there," she said.

Caspian smiled, nodding. "So now that I have you, and have paid plenty of good money for you," he teased, "what should I do with you?"

Susan wasn't paying attention. She'd been off in her thoughts, and absentmindedly said, "Marry me." A moment went by, and she sat up in shock and horror, looking at Caspian to see if he was repulsed by her outburst.

Caspian, it seemed, was quite the opposite. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Just as he was about to touch his lips to hers, he whispered, "That's a very good idea, Sue."

Their kiss was interrupted by a loud screeching from above their heads. Both the humans and the horses looked up and saw a griffin swooping down towards them. "Your pardon, Your Majesties," the griffin said when it landed in front of them, "but a messenger has come, asking to speak immediately to the king." The bird shifted, and his eyes showed a small glimmer of fear. "He's from Calormen."


	8. War

**A/N: Thank you everyone for all your amazing reviews! Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!**

The horses exhausted themselves as they raced back to the castle with their riders on their backs. Their hooves pounded the ground, causing dirt to fly up, as they streaked through the forest and dashed across the drawbridge. They slowed only once they had bolted into the courtyard. Susan leaned down and asked, "Are you alright, Defaros?"

The mare was wheezing, dipping her head down closer to the ground in an effort to regain her breath. "Yes," she gasped, "but I'm not as young as I once was."

A streak of black shot out from the side entrance to Cair Paravel, and suddenly, Lenny was standing before Susan and Caspian. "Your Majesties!" he cried. "Those Calormenes have sent an errand boy to see you!" His growl echoed off the courtyard walls, telling everyone present exactly what he thought of this "errand boy."

Caspian dismounted and Susan followed suit. They both handed the reins to a stable faun and followed Lenny up the steps. "Do you know what he wants?" Caspian asked as they walked hastily through the corridors to the throne room.

"No," Lenny replied with another growl. "He said the he'd only speak to you. I decided that you wouldn't like me to make him talk, so I kept my claws to myself."

Caspian smiled. "Thank you," he said. They had reached the throne room doors and Caspian turned to Lenny. "Please, my friend, don't speak during the exchange and watch over Susan."

The panther nodded, but Susan protested. "Really, Caspian," she said. "If he's just a messenger, what harm could come of this?"

Caspian touched her cheek lovingly. "You never know," he responded. "I've finally gotten you. I'm not willing to lose you any time soon." He turned and nodded to the panther. "Lenny?" he asked.

The panther raised a paw to touch his chest and dipped his head. "No harm will come to her on my watch," he promised. "And I'll guard my tongue." He looked up at Caspian hopefully. "May I stick it out at him, though?" Caspian shook his head and Lenny frowned. "Oh alright," he conceded.

"Good," Caspian responded, nodding. He pushed open the throne room doors and stepped inside, followed at an appropriate distance by Susan and Lenny. Inside the grand throne room of Cair Paravel, the trio found an astonishingly arrogant sight. There before them, seated in Caspian's throne, sat the messenger, lounging with his legs hooked over the chair as though he was in his own home. Caspian tensed, Susan's jaw fell open, and Lenny emitted a growl so deep that Susan actually took a step away from him, frightened.

The messenger looked up, grinning. "Ah, Caspian, his royal pussy cat, and the barbarian queen that has caused all this trouble." Lenny arched his back and only Susan's hand on his shoulder kept him from leaping for the belligerent man's throat. He growled again, and the man glared at the panther in front of him. "You don't keep your pets very well trained, Caspian." He made a tsking noise in the back of his throat.

"Perhaps, sir," Caspian said, and Susan could tell how much effort it took for him to address the man in a pleasant manner, "you could tell me first of all why you're in my chair, and second of all, what is your business here."

The man swung his legs around and leaned forward, his hands resting on his knees. "To answer your first question, you took too long to get here," he replied. "I got tired of standing, and I've discovered that your chair is very comfortable. As to your second question, you no doubt know about the Tisroc (may he live forever) and his, shall we say, 'eagerness' to avenge any wrongs done to his family line?"

Caspian nodded, remembering all too well when the news that a new Tisroc had come to power had reached his ears. This Tisroc was worse than the last. He was a tall, fat man with an ever-present scowl on his face whose whole ambition as Tisroc was to eat as much palace food as he possibly could, and to go back into the records and wage war on any and all countries that had dared to humiliate his family line.

"The Tisroc did some research into your lovely slave you recently bought and has traced her back to the time of the Tisroc Rabadash." He glared at Susan. "Whatever black magic has kept you alive for this long, know that the great god, Tash, shall conquer you."

"_I_ shall silence _you_," Caspian responded icily. "Kindly step down from my throne and we shall discus this interesting development from your Tisroc."

The man obeyed, muttering, "May he live forever," as he stepped down.

Caspian sat down quickly, as though he was afraid that the arrogant messenger would take his seat if he didn't claim it immediately. "Why are you here?" he asked.

"I am here," the man said, drawing out his sentence for the full effect, "to propose to you an agreement between Calormen and Narnia."

"Really?" Caspian asked, not letting on that in any other court, the man would have already been beheaded for him rudeness and lack of authority. "What is this agreement?"

"The barbarian queen, or war," the man said bluntly.

"You don't know how to bargain very well, do you?" Caspian asked. "Why does the Tisroc want the Narnian Queen?" He made sure to use Susan's proper title in an effort to break this man of his insolence.

"The Tisroc wants her so that he can set to rights some of his family's humiliations," the man said in a bored tone. "She has been one of the many smudges on the records, and he wished to," he smiled rather sardonically, "wipe her off." Susan let out a gasp. So the Tisroc wanted her so that he could sacrifice her to Tash in payment for that fool's, Rabadash's, humiliation!

"Your proposition is out of the question. Is there anything else before you take your leave?"

The man scowled at him. "I don't think you realize the gravity of the situation. You are going to put your country, the country that you swore to protect, on the line for this girl?" He had walked closer to Susan in his rant, and at this point, he stuck his finger out, almost touching her face. Lenny gave a snarl, spreading his legs in front of Susan to block any passage to her, and the man stepped back, but the encounter was a providential one, for Susan noticed something strange about his face. His pupils were dilated, and he seemed unruffled in every circumstance.

"Caspian!" Susan called, alarmed. She brushed past the man and hurried up the steps to the throne before her. "He's under a spell, or an enchantment."

"What?" Caspian asked, disbelievingly.

Susan explained. "See how he acts completely unruffled, even when most kings would've beheaded him before now?" Caspian nodded. "I would bet," she continued, "that the Tisroc had someone put him under an enchantment in the hopes that it would make you angry enough to kill him. That would give the Tisroc the perfect excuse to wage war." Her voice held an excited tone as she hurried on. "Just send him back unharmed and we can avoid the war!"

Caspian looked up into her eyes rather sadly as he said, "Aslan informed me that we'd be fighting no matter what negotiations we make here today. We must simply decide how badly we want the Calormenes to feel the need for revenge." He turned back to the messenger, who had been staring up at the roof for quite a while, and saw Susan's point. "We will not accept your negotiations," he said resolutely. "Please give this message to your Tisroc." He spoke clearly, and decisively, letting his voice ring out through the whole throne room. "Queen Susan will never be his. You threaten me in my own palace with the horror of war as though it was a surprise to us. On the contrary, I've been expecting you to war with us since the day I brought Queen Susan back to Cair Paravel."

The man stuttered, clearly shocked that the plans forged in secret had been for nothing. He eyed the King of Narnia without really seeing him, and asked, "How…?"

Caspian sat forward and spoke. "Because I believe in Aslan, who is far greater than Tash. He informed me that I would need to fight for my kingdom, and fight I will. Aslan knew about your secret plans because he knows everything. He's the most powerful being in this world we live in, aside from his father. So go back to the Tisroc and tell him that we do not accept his agreement, and that Aslan will deal with him in time. May _he_ live forever." Finished with this explanation, Caspian summoned two guards. "Escort our esteemed visitor back across Narnian borders," he ordered. "Make sure he gets safely home."

The centaurs tried to lead the man, but he refused to move, so they ended up having to drag him. As they brought him past Caspian, he glared. His voice was deadly cold as he said, "This is war."


	9. Proposals Both Good and Bad

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I'm so glad that you're all enjoying this! On with the story!**

Susan stood, looking out the window of her room, deep in thought. With so much having happened in the throne room earlier in the day, she had forgotten about Aslan's lesson that she was supposed to learn. She leaned her head against the pane of glass, cringing only momentarily as the coolness touched her skin. How was she supposed to do this by herself? Susan squeezed her eyes shut tightly, wishing that she could block out everything that was racing through her head at the moment. A knock at the door distracted her from thinking further.

"Come in," she called wearily, expecting the visitor to be Salisse, eager to begin dressing her queen for dinner. Instead, when Susan turned around, she found Caspian standing there. "Caspian," she said, smiling.

"I came for some company," he told her bashfully, no longer the regal king he had been when he had addressed the messenger in the throne room. He was no longer the well tempered, have-all-the-answers person that the Narnian folk looked up to. He was the young man who had unanswered questions, and unfulfilled dreams. In this state, he was his weakest, and Susan smiled, grateful that he was showing this side of himself to her.

"Absolutely," she said, and motioned for him to sit down in the chair by the fireplace.

Seeing only one chair, Caspian frowned. "But where will you sit?" he asked.

Susan led him over to the chair and pushed him down, knowing that the chair was strong enough to hold the sudden weight, and soft enough so that the push would not hurt him. She turned back to the fireplace and placed and extra long on the cheery blaze. "Don't worry about me," she told Caspian with a smile. "I'm perfectly comfortable right here." She settled her skirts around her legs as she settled onto the floor, her chin resting on Caspian's knee.

Caspian gazed down at her and made one more attempt at comfort. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, concerned.

Susan sighed, but there was a merriment that twinkled in her eyes as she tried to be stern. "Caspian, if you ask me one more time, I'll throw you from the room," she threatened.

Caspian looked down at her small figure and grinned. "That I'd like to see," he said.

Susan smiled, but refused to comment further. Her eyes darkened and lost their shimmer as she looked back up at him, curious. "Were you bluffing when you said that you knew about their war plans?" she asked.

Caspian shook his head. "After your talk with Aslan, he came to have a talk with me. He told me that you would be staying for at least a little while, and informed me that my rescue had caused quite a stir among the Calormenes. I knew that we'd have to fight, but I also heard that there was a chance that things would turn in our favor." His eyes bored into Susan's as he asked quietly, "Is that true?"

Susan dropped her head with a heavy sigh. "I don't understand," she moaned, resting her forehead against Caspian's knee and forcing him to lean forward so that he was able to understand her. "I'm not capable of learning this lesson."

"Why not?" Caspian asked, confused. Susan was a smart young woman. Surely Aslan had not given her something that she couldn't handle.

Susan lifted her face so that she could look at Caspian. "Because my siblings aren't here," she whispered.

Caspian frowned again. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Susan sighed, slumping back against Caspian's knee. "Peter was always the strategic one. He could figure out the problem and solve it in record time. Edmund was the one who came to compromises that the rest of us never thought of. He could give out a fair judgment easily. And Lucy," her voice seemed to break as her lips formed her sister's name. "Lucy had faith enough for all of us. She always knew just the right thing to do, and at what exact point we had stopped trusting Aslan enough. She would always put us back on course the moment we strayed." She paused for a moment. "And then there was me." She looked up at Caspian, and her eyes shone with tears. "I had no talent, other than making the princes of other lands fall at my feet." She laughed harshly. "There was nothing else that I could do." She stared at Caspian and asked quietly, "How am I supposed to learn about myself if I don't have my siblings to help me? What am I supposed to learn?"

Caspian used a finger to tilt Susan's chin up so that he could look squarely at her. "You've answered your own question," he told her. "You don't need your siblings to see the power you hold inside yourself." He sat back against the chair. "And you don't need me. What you need is to believe in yourself." He smiled. "Keep searching your heart and you'll find the answer." His eyes twinkled, and Susan realized that he was switching to a lighter subject as he asked, "Did you mean what you said earlier today?"

Susan tried to think back. She'd said so many things, and the stress on her mind tended to push them all together in a big, messy bundle. "I don't remember what I said." She looked up at him, teasingly. "I didn't say anything stupid, did I?"

Caspian laughed. "No," he replied. "You were quite normal. I simply asked you what I was supposed to do with you, and you told me that I needed to marry you."

Susan's eyes widened and she cringed at the memory. "Oh," she replied flatly. "That."

Caspian leaned forward. "Did you mean what you said?" When Susan looked up, expecting him to be joking, she found him glancing seriously at her, waiting for her reaction.

"Truly?" she asked.

Caspian nodded. "Because it appealed to me," he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Susan leaned forward and whispered, "Then it appeals to me." Caspian pulled her to him tightly, kissing her deeply. When he pulled away, Susan laughed, just for the sheer joy of laughing.

"I'm glad you're so happy," Caspian responded, smiling at Susan. He clasped her hands in his and said, "We'll have a June wedding." Susan blushed, and Caspian asked, "What?"

Susan shook her head. "It's nothing," she responded. "Honest. It's only that Salisse mentioned the same thing to me."

Caspian shrugged, still grinning madly. "They don't say that centaurs are smart for nothing!" Both of them laughed, and Susan placed her chin once again on Caspian's knee, gazing up at him lovingly.

Caspian smiled back, but then his whole countenance seemed to change. "What's wrong?" Susan asked. "Please tell me you're not regretting asking me to marry you already."

He grinned half-heartedly at her words. "No," he assured her. "It's not that." He glanced at his fiancé and grimaced, knowing her reaction to his proposition before he even spoke it. "I want to send you away."

"What?" Susan exclaimed, pulling herself up and away from him. "Why?"

"Because the Calormenes want you. You're the only reason they're waging this war in the first place. If they should somehow capture you, the Narnians will have fought and died for nothing. They'll take you back with them, and probably kill us because we refused them in the first place. Please, Sue," his voice took on a pleading tone. "I just got you. I can't lose you so quickly."

Susan frowned. First, she'd been brought into this land without her siblings to help her, and now, the only person whom she truly loved was asking her to leave for her own safety, and the safety of his country. "If I refuse, will you tie me up in a bundle and send me off anyway?" she asked.

Caspian sighed, and in that motion, Susan saw what a grievance it was for him to have to make her go. Her mind was made up at that point. "I would hope that it didn't have to come to that," he replied diplomatically.

Susan patted her fiancé's knee. "It won't," she promised. "I leave whenever you deem it necessary."

Caspian stood and pulled her up with him, hugging her tightly as he stroked her hair. "Thank you," he whispered. The ordeal had been relatively painless. He had expected it to become a full out argument, but Susan had seemed uncharacteristically meek. He mentally shrugged. What did it matter her reason, as long as she was going to be safely on her way soon, out of harm's way?

"Thank you," he whispered again. "You sail in the morning."


	10. Kindnapped

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your patience, and your reviews! Life's been crazy and now is my first opportunity to sit down and type, so thanks!**

Susan had been staring at the same spot on the ceiling for the past two hours. The fire cast its warm glow over her room, creating shadows that danced against the walls. Susan, with effort, torn her eyes away from the spot, clearing her head for a moment. Had she really agreed to just waltz right onto a ship that would carry her away from her country, her life, her love? Had she really not put up some sort of a fight? She groaned and curled up in a ball. "What was I thinking?" she whispered. Logical Susan would have seen that this arrangement was for the best, and would have graciously accepted being exiled from Narnia for a while. But Susan was trying to break her logical habits, and so she did not see that this was her only option.

She twisted and turned, unable to find a comfortable position in the large bed. She listened as the sounds of the castle became more distant, more quiet, and then stopped all together. She groaned again, flipping over onto her back. If she was still awake when the castle went to sleep, then it was late. She pushed back a lock of her unruly hair, mussed due to her activities over the past few hours. Tossing and turning certainly took their toll on one's hairdo.

As she once again stared at the ceiling, Susan frowned. How could she willingly leave Caspian? He was everything to her now. "You did this _for_ Caspian," she muttered to herself as she rolled over, planting her face in the pillow. Still, this bit of sense did not help the tears that came into her eyes as she thought of being parted from Caspian indefinitely. Soon, the tears came in torrents, and the sobs began, effectively muffled by the pillow. Susan felt as though her heart was being ripped in half, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her logical side would have built a sturdy wall around the organ, closing it off to everyone, but this human side of her had no defenses. She had no walls to protect her from the reality of what was happening tomorrow, or was it now today?

A slight sound was barely heard over Susan's sobs, but the noise startled her, and she sat up, whirling around as she did so. In such a quiet castle, the noise seemed loud. Susan glanced around, trying to identify the origin of the sound, and her gaze fell on the door to her room. It had been shut when she went to bed, but now it stood ajar. The sound must have come from the squeak of the hinges. Susan pushed back the covers and slipped out of bed. Tomorrow, she'd have to get some butter from the kitchen and lubricate the hinges.

She strode to the door and looked out, making sure that no one had stirred. She then pushed the door closed and turned back to her bed. Just as she turned, Susan caught the form of a man standing behind her. Her body turned on its own accord and Susan was met with some kind of sack that was thrown over her head. She screamed, twisting and kicking as her whole body was pushed into the sack. "Caspian!" she screamed. She kicked and punched, but her efforts seemed to have no effect on the man. He hoisted her over his shoulder and swiftly opened the door, striding silently down the hall. Susan screamed until her throat hurt, and then she realized that her own screams seemed muffled, even to her. Her finger reached out and poked the bag, but the material never even quivered. Susan huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, not caring if she looked like a four-year-old who was pouting. She was being kidnapped by a man that was obviously stealthy, encased in a sack that muffled her screams and disguised her struggles. Perfect.

Her logical side flew out the window as she twisted around, looking for a crack in the bag, any weak spot that could be found. There wasn't one. She started to panic. She couldn't hear anything, she couldn't see anything, but she could tell when they were outside, for the sharp wind flew right through the seams of the bag and straight through Susan's nightgown to her skin. "Of course," she muttered. "The bag wouldn't be sealed for comfort."

A pulling sensation, and then a sharp jolt informed her that she was being unceremoniously flung into a saddle. She felt the animal shift under the sudden weight, and feared that she might topple off. Her captor swung up behind her and snapped the reins. The horse leapt forward into a canter, and Susan was pushed back against her captor's chest. He pushed her away from him, and Susan bit back a remark, knowing that he would not hear her, and that Aslan would not approve.

They rode all night, and Susan's body began to ache from the position she was in. She tried to shift around, but nothing worked. The cold made her shiver violently, and she hunched her shoulders in a meager effort to cut out the chill. Briefly, Susan allowed herself to doze off. Now that she was displaced from her comfortable room, and had more important matters to think about than her sailing woes, she found that she was tired. Her lids drooped, and she slept, only waking when the horse jumped some obstacle and shattered her dreams.

The early morning was the coldest. Susan looked at her hands and saw that they had a slight bluish color to them. She tucked them under her arms for more warmth, but nothing seemed to help. She felt the horse pull up and felt herself being pulled down from the horse. Soon, she was flung onto another animal, and they were off again. As the day wore on, Susan's mind began to clear a bit from its sleep-depraved stage. She forced herself to stay calm as she analyzed different escape possibilities. Against a sack that obviously had some kind of enchantment, all her thoughts were in vain.

She realized fairly quickly, after two days of hard travel, where they were heading when she felt the first blast of hot, desert air hit her face. Susan leaned her forehead against the immovable sack material and closed her eyes. How would she make it through the Great Desert trapped in a sack with no food and no water? "Aslan," she whispered fervently. "Help me."

The heat intensified throughout the day, and sweat ran down Susan's face as the hot air that flowed through the sack hit her cheeks each time the wind blew. Lack of nourishment and the sweltering heat combined to cause Susan to let her eyelids droop from exhaustion and hunger. She knew that she should stay awake, but she couldn't. Her mind was foggy from the haze that had settled over it, and her lips were so cracked that they had even stopped bleeding when they split open. Slowly, Susan drifted off.

Susan woke, bathed in sweat, with her nightgown sticking to her skin. She felt a jolt and surmised that she was being pulled off the horse. The man swung the sack as he carried her to his destination, and Susan realized that he must be traveling up steps because he dragged her over each and every one of them. Susan added shoulder pains to her mental list of maladies.

Being unable to hear anything made the trip difficult, but being able to feel everything gave Susan some indication of where she was. The air was cooler, and scented with some strange-smelling perfume, and Susan realized that the steps had led up to a house or a building. Perhaps she would be let out now? Anything would be better than staying in this sack. Susan silently thanked Aslan that she was not claustrophobic.

Without warning, the sack opened, and Susan tumbled out, banging her shoulder in the process. The sudden light that filled the room bothered her eyes, and she attempted to roll into the defensive position her brothers had taught her years before, but she found that her legs and arms would not move that quickly due to having been cooped up for almost four days. Instead, Susan turned on her side, sitting up with effort. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and glanced around, blinking.

Her worst fears had become a reality. She was in Tashbaan.


	11. Sacrifice

Susan was still forcing herself to keep her eyes open against the bright lights when she was roughly picked up and hauled forward by her captor. Free from the sack, she used all her energy to wriggle and squirm, trying to get out of her captor's grasp, but he held her firmly. Too firmly. Halfway up the long walk, Susan gave up trying to set herself free. She opened her eyes long enough to focus on her captor's wrist, and then she bit down hard.

"Stupid barbarian witch!" the man exploded as he dropped her, clutching his wrist, which was now pulsing with blood.

Titters flew throughout the room, and as Susan picked herself up, she realized that they were not directed toward her. They were directed to the man standing beside her, holding his wrist and examining it with a scowl on his face. She took the opportunity to glance around the room and found herself in a magnificent court bedecked with gold and silver. Her eyes could not take everything in as she glanced around. She realized that the snickers were coming from the courtiers and the slave girls who were standing and lounging around the room. The path that Susan's captor had been taking was obviously leading up to the gilded chair at the end of the room, so Susan squared her shoulder and lifted her chin, slipping into her role as queen despite her dress and hair.

"I'm quite capable of walking by myself," she said, surprising everyone, including herself as she kept her voice even. She then sashayed up the aisle to the throne before her, twisting her body out of her ailing captor's revengeful grip. When she reached the throne, she swept into a curtsy, elegant even in her bedraggled state, and addressed the Tisroc, "Your Grace, I must say, if you wanted to speak with me, you should've just sent a formal request to Cair Paravel." She smiled demurely. "I would've gladly come and visited with you." With effort, Susan held back, 'And graced you with my presence.' This was not Cair Paravel and such manners could have her beheaded.

The pompously fat man leaned forward, examining Susan with his beady black eyes. His meaty fists tightened against the arm rests of his throne as he spoke through gritted teeth. "I didn't want you to come for a visit," he hissed. The atmosphere in the room seemed to change, and everyone grew quiet, focused on their leader as he continued. "I sent one of my soldiers for you because I doubted that you would come of your own free will." He smiled cruelly. "And even if you did choose to come, I doubt that your precious Caspian would've let you, barbarian witch."

Susan lifted her chin at the insult, but she said nothing about the taunt. She'd been called worse by another Tisroc, Rabadash the Ridiculous. One of her eyebrows shot up as she responded, "You underestimate what one will do for the love of her country." Everyone drew in a sharp breath when she made no effort to add a befitting title for the Tisroc to the end of her sentence.

The Tisroc sat back in his throne, drumming his fingertips against the arm rests. "Do you know why I brought you here?" he asked.

Susan pretended to think, forcing herself not to push her courageous façade too far. "I'm going to guess that it has something to do with you and your fanatical ideas that you can right every wrong done to your great family line." She smiled sweetly up at him. "Am I right?"

The Tisroc smiled once more, but the action held no warmth. It was as cold as ice. "You're right," he said. "But I'm sure that you figured that out by your witch's skills."

Susan smiled as well. "No," she replied evenly. "I'm just really smart."

"Of tongue," the Tisroc growled. "But possibly not of mind, since not many people would be standing before me contradicting me."

"There _is_ a first time for everything," Susan replied, shrugging. She saw the Tisroc's face turn almost purple and realized that she had gone too far. "But tell me, Your Grace," she hastily added, "how your soldier was able to capture me and take me away without anyone seeing him."

The horrid shade of purple faded from the Tisroc's face and he sat back, grinning. "Narnia is not the only land that has a higher power, Witch," he said. "The great god, Tash the Irresistible, is ever wise, and ever wonderful. He guided me in making my soldier invisible. No one saw or heard him."

"I didn't realize that Tash helped his people on a whim," Susan remarked.

"He doesn't," the Tisroc snapped. "But when a soul is sacrificed to him, he is more open to requests." The Tisroc smiled, and Susan was once again reminded of Rabadash as she saw the same lewd, cruel smile forming on this Tisroc's lips. "The barbarian Aslan has pushed Tash the Inexorable to the limit, and he was quite willing to grant me power enough to concoct such a scheme." He leaned forward toward Susan and whispered, "You're not the only one who has powers now, Witch."

Susan frowned. "What makes you think that I have witch's blood in me?" she asked.

The Tisroc replied, "I've read all the accounts of your famed beauty, and the trouble you put my ancestor, Rabadash the Peacemaker, through." He glared at her. "That was over a thousand years ago."

"Thirteen hundred, actually," Susan corrected, trying not to roll her eyes at the title the Tisroc had given to Rabadash. 'He _would_ choose the kinder title,'she thought with as smirk.

"What?" the Tisroc asked, unused to people correcting him.

Susan shrugged. "It was thirteen hundred years ago, not one thousand."

The Tisroc shrugged. "All the more reason then," he replied. "I've heard stories about you and your siblings being flung from one world into another." He sat back, pleased with himself. "How do you explain that and not be a witch?"

Susan shrugged. "Easily," she replied. "All that my siblings and I have ever done has been through the grace of Aslan." She started to go on, but then something the Tisroc had said previously came flooding back and she gasped. "You sold your soul to Tash?!"

The Tisroc smirked. "Yes, I did. Now, I have more power than any of my ancestors before me. Tash the Irresistible has granted me with knowledge that I could not begin to put to use." He smiled, and Susan forced herself not to take a step back at the look in his eyes as he stared at her. "I haven't used much of my power, just for your capture, because I have a special little something that I'm going to do first." He rubbed his hand together gleefully, and Susan drew in a breath.

"What would that be?" she choked out, surprised that the question sounded calm.

"I am going to set my family line to rights, humiliate Aslan, and please the great god, Tash, all at the same time."

The gleefulness in his voice made Susan tremble inwardly, but she responded, "You are ambitious, I'll give you that." She crossed her arms over her chest and asked, "How do you intend to accomplish all of that at once?"

The Tisroc smiled. "I'm going to sacrifice you, Witch."

* * *

**A/N: What did you think???**


	12. Faith

Susan watched from the window in her room as the large army of the Tisroc rode out of Tashbaan. The horses, all wearing armor, sent beams of light ricocheting off their breastplates as they trotted along in army formations. Susan hung her head, letting her hair fall forward and almost touch the windowsill. She'd been here for almost three days, and any hopes of escape had long since been abandoned. Susan looked out across the city, her eyes drifting towards the desert that the soldiers were riding out on. She had long since stopped trying to count how many soldiers made up the army of the Tisroc. They were too numerous. Unlike the small attack from the time of her ruling, the Tisroc had sent out a great force to conquer Narnia once and for all.

Susan had thought that drowning herself had been a horrible experience, once she had realized what she had done, but actually knowing that you are going to be slaughtered like an animal, was even worse. Her grip on the windowsill tightened until her knuckles turned white. She would not lose faith that Caspian, and maybe even Aslan, would come and save her. Two days ago, she had realized that giving up was playing right into the Tisroc's hands, and she had fervently continued to pray for a way out of this mess. She hoped that her way out would not consist of dying.

"I hate waiting!" she cried, slapping her fists against the windowsill. To be fed and housed in the palace of your captor, knowing that at any day you might be sacrificed to a god of the Calormenes' making, was terrifying feeling, and Susan was constantly on edge.

As if having heard her explosion of anger, the door to her apartment opened and a Tarkaan entered. "You're to come with me," he said in a deep, accented voice. When he noticed that she was about to resist, he continued, "You can either come with me with the dignity of a Queen of Narnia, or I can drag you there. I'd choose the first if I was you."

Susan lifted her chin and squared her shoulders in an effort to appear calmer than she felt. She followed the Tarkaan out of her apartments and down the many corridors of the palace until they came out into the sunshine of Tashbaan. Here, the Tarkaan took Susan gently by her shoulder, making sure that she did not try to run, and they began the short walk up to the Temple of Tash.

Inside, the temple was dark and stuffy. Susan felt herself recoil at the sharp, pungent odor of incense as the trails of smoke curled around her body, teasing her with glimpses of what was to come. The Tarkaan placed a steady hand on her back, and Susan felt the gesture oddly comforting. "Does it hurt?" she asked quietly, willing her eyes to adjust to the dark hall before her.

"For your sake, My Lady, I hope it does not," the Tarkaan whispered in her ear.

Susan did not bother to ask why he was so interested in her comfort, but proceeded to step deeper into the hall. Pillars made of a deep black wood lined the walls and seemed to be the main support of the temple. The floor was cool, almost cold, under Susan's feet, and the temple was so quiet that she could hear the rustle of the sacrifice dress she had been given as the hem ghosted over the ivory tiles. As she went deeper into the hall, torches began to light the way, their cheery glow seeming out of place in such a foreboding place.

And there, stretching before her, were the stairs that everyone in the Tisroc's palace had whispered about when they thought that she could not hear. The stairs were said to be treacherous to climb for the one being sacrificed. Each step was rumored to bring forth moments of the person's life, making them tremble and shake. Every person that had been sacrificed during the thousands of years of Calormen history had flung themselves down, begging for the mercy of the Tisroc, begging him to let them live, yet no one had ever survived.

Susan saw the Tisroc standing at the black marble alter at the top of the stairs, a long, jeweled scimitar resting in his hands, and her heart quivered. "Aslan give me strength," Susan whispered, her lips barely moving as she voiced her plea. A surge of calm seemed to wash through her, and Susan found the courage to take another step towards the stairs and the slayer.

The moment Susan placed her foot on the first step, an image of her siblings tumbling through the wardrobe assaulted her senses. She froze, startled, unaware that the images would assault her that quickly. She looked up, only to find the Tisroc leering at her, knowing that something unnatural was going on in her mind. She fought for control and took another step. This time, the vision was of the battle of the White Witch when she, Lucy, and Aslan had aided Edmund and Peter with reinforcements. Susan's hands clenched into fists and she took another step. This time, she was struck with an English memory. It was when Lucy had just been born, and all the children had been able to hold her. Susan had stared at her tiny new sister in wonderment, and had always vowed from then on to look after her and protect her, a promise that she had not kept entirely at certain points in her life.

Another step brought the image of her coronation, with laughter and sunshine and Aslan. The image of the lion brought Susan courage as she took another step. Her breath caught in her throat as an image of Caspian, his eyes shining with mirth, entered her mind. Her legs trembled for a moment, but she forced herself to take another step. Her heart pounded in her chest as a vision of Edmund, lying very still, ob the battle field came to her, but the next step revealed Lucy's healing powers, for Edmund stood up, hugging them all tightly.

Susan took another step and the horror of trying to take Miraz's palace swept over her as she watched her brother barely make it across the drawbridge in time. She took another step, and was pulled back to England where she killed the woman in the operating room. Susan slammed her eyes shut as the pain and the blood seemed through her. The next step showed her trying to drown herself in the Thames. Susan took another step just to get away from that vision. The next one was when she had first seen Caspian again, standing there by the wharf, smiling at her. Her next step was shaky, but the vision that came next was the one that gave her the most courage. The scene was set in the cold of the early dawn. Susan was standing with Lucy, looking down at the Stone Table. As they turned, the earth shook, and the sun rose, and there was Aslan, standing before them once more, looking more regal than he had before, if that was possible.

Susan placed her foot determinedly on the landing of the raised platform and stood straight and tall before the Tisroc. He, on the other hand, was looking at her, astonished. Never, in all Calormen history, had someone been able to walk up the steps with such ease. His shock did not last long, for he took Susan roughly by her arm and led her over to the black marble alter. He pushed her down on it, tying thick ropes around her wrists in order to keep her where he wanted her. Then, he set about to working on the spells Tash had revealed to him.

While all this was going on, Susan was calmly staring up at where the ceiling of the temple should be. It was so dark that all she was staring into was blackness, though, and it gave her time to think. She thought about her siblings, and a question of Peter's rushed back to her. Edmund had told her that Peter had almost given up during his fight to the death with Miraz and had asked, "What do you think happens back home if you die here?" She managed to smile slightly, despite the predicament that she was in at the moment. 'I'm already dead back home if I die here,' she thought.

She thought about her siblings' strengths, and how each one had understood almost immediately what they were supposed to do with their lives. Susan had never understood. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. All she'd ever had was faith. Susan's eyes popped open as she realized what she had just thought. _That_ was her strength! Her faith! It had never been as strong as Lucy's, but since being brought back to Narnia, her faith had grown, and strengthened. Yes, that was it! That was what would save her! Faith.

Just as she realized this, Susan saw a cloud beginning to billow from the eaves of the temple. It became larger, and denser, growing wider and wider. As it stretched down to the alter on which Susan lay, she felt her heart start pounding faster, and her fists clenched. As the cloud came closer, Susan's eyes widened. She could see Tash in the cloud, and he was nothing like she'd ever imagined. With a horrid beak and cruel eyes, he swooped down in the cloud, the beak aimed for her heart.

'I have faith,' Susan thought. 'I have faith in Aslan.' She raised her head, meeting Tash's dark eyes and cried, "In the name of Aslan and his father, the Emperor-over-the-Sea, I banish you from this place!" He cry made Tash rear back, stopping his decent. "Be gone!" she cried.

A lion's roar filled the hall, making everything from the Tisroc to the pillars tremble. Tash screeched and disappeared, the cloud dispersing into the eaves of the temple. Susan twisted her head, trying to see Aslan, but she could not. She could tell that he was coming nearer though, for the Tisroc kept inching away, trying to keep backing up from the lion as he advanced.

Aslan stepped up onto the platform and looked levelly with the Tisroc. "What have you to say for yourself, man of Calormen?" the lion asked, his voice echoing off every corner of the temple.

And that was the only time in Calormen history where a Tisroc ever fell to his knees before another ruler. He and his bulk spread out on the floor, begging for Aslan's mercy. "You shall have it," said the lion, "but you will not forget this day ever again." He breathed on the Tisroc, and the latter's nose seemed to stretch and grow until it was the length and appearance of a beak. "Remember me," the lion said, and turned away from the cowering Tisroc to free Susan. He smiled at her and said, "Daughter of Eve, you have learned your lesson, have you not?"

"Yes, Aslan," Susan responded.

"Good," Aslan said with a nod. "Come, there is much we need to do. Narnia is in danger."


	13. Different Kind of Battle

**A/N: Thank to everyone that has reviewed and has given me encouragement. I love you guys! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

The hot wind of the desert whipped Susan's hair back from her face, causing it to stream out behind her like a brown flag. Her hands dug into Aslan's mane, fearing that if she didn't hold on tightly, she might fall off. She bent lower over his powerful neck, thinking about how different it was to ride a lion rather than a horse. She tried to post, lifting herself higher above Aslan's back so that the force of his movement's would not be so hard, but there was nothing for her to hold on to, and she feared that digging her knees into Aslan's back would hurt him.

"Are you alright?" Aslan asked, never slowing his pace.

"Yes," Susan called to be heard over the rush of air. "I'm just really stiff. I'm sorry. I keep shifting."

Aslan nodded but didn't comment. Susan thought that she felt a change in his gait, and she was right, for she no longer bounced as much. She leaned forward a little more and forced herself to relax. Aslan had informed her that they had much work to do, for Narnia was in trouble. Fear gripped her heart as she remembered the Calormen army. Was Caspian in danger? Was Lenny hurt?

"What has happened?" she called, and Aslan's ear twitched, indicating that he had heard her. His paws kicked up sand as he flew across the vast desert, and occasionally, some sand would fly up and hit Susan. She finally found that keeping her eyes closed was the best action.

"Calormen has declared war against Narnia without any ceremony," Aslan informed her, his voice rising over the wind. "They gave no warning and they offered no treaty or middle ground. They simply attacked."

"What am I supposed to do?" Susan called. The heat, combined with the ordeal she had just been through, was beginning to make her feel dizzy and she swayed on Aslan's back.

"You've learned your lesson, have you not?" Aslan asked. "What did you find was your strength?"

"Faith," Susan responded.

"Faith in what?"

"Faith in you."

The lion nodded. "And in so doing, you have found a little bit of faith in yourself." He turned momentarily to look back at his rider, and then focused once more on where he was going. "Narnia is at war, and you're needed."

Susan blinked, wondering if she had heard him correctly. Was it a trick of the wind, or had he really said that she was the one that Narnia needed? Sure, she could fight, and in her age as queen, she'd been one of the best shots with a bow, but there was nothing that she could do that would turn the tide in battle.

As though he could read her mind, Aslan responded, "A single person can be the one to turn the tide. A single action might save the day."

Susan nodded and hung on tighter, hanging her head so that she would not get as many sand grains in her eyes. She rode like this for a long time, thinking about all that had transpired since Aslan had rescued her. She smiled for the first time, thinking of the pompous Tisroc with his new beak. Did Calormenes never learn? First, there had been Rabadash the Ridiculous, and now there was this Tisroc with his Tash beak.

Lack of food and the nervous strain on her mind combined to almost topple Susan from Aslan's back after a few hours of riding. Aslan slowed his pace only slightly. "Hang on, Daughter of Eve," he commanded. "We are almost there."

And sure enough, he was right. Susan lifted her gaze and saw the peak of Mt. Pire in the distance, and her heart sped up. She was almost home! Her mind lapsed back into visions of Caspian, and Archland flew by without her giving much more than a passing glance. Soon, the familiar forests and areas of Narnia began to fly past, and Susan found herself shaking with excitement, despite her hunger and fatigue.

"We must find the camp," Aslan informed her. "It's rather hidden," he explained.

Susan found no reason to respond, for she knew that Aslan would find it easily, no matter how hidden it was. She glanced around, realizing that she was hearing faint battle sounds in the distance. The Calormenes had wasted no time. Soon, she spotted the camp, nestled neatly by the Owlwood Forest.

The there was much activity going on. Fauns and centaurs and all sorts of Talking Animals scurried around, getting an extra weapon, or pulling on an extra set of chain mail. They all stopped and stared as Aslan bounded into camp with Susan on his back.

"Queen Susan has returned!" cried a faun.

"Long live Aslan!" cried a panther, and Susan was saddened to realize that it was not Lenny who had spoken.

A mouse scurried up to Aslan, who was bending down to let a very stiff Susan off his back. "Please, Sir Aslan," the mouse squeaked. "Can you help him?"

Susan turned to Aslan, confused, but the Great Lion was not looking at her. He bent his head and touched his tongue to the mouse's cheek, and Susan smiled as she saw the mouse's whiskers twitch. "No, I cannot," Aslan rumbled, not unkindly, "but Queen Susan can." He turned to Susan and looked intently at her. "After all, she has faith."

The mouse seemed confused for a moment as to why that statement would have anything to do with her question, but she scurried off, calling, "Follow me, if you please! And hurry!"

"Come, Daughter of Eve," Aslan said, starting off after the mouse. "Your services are greatly needed."

"But don't I need my bow and quiver?" Susan asked, anticipating battle.

Aslan looked back over his shoulder and shook his head. "Not for this battle," he said gravely.

Susan felt a sinking feeling in her heart, but hastened after Aslan. The mouse led them to a tent at the far end of the camp, the furthest from the battlefield. "In there," it said, its whiskers twitching once more as it sat up on its hind legs.

Susan moved to step inside the tent, but the mouse grabbed her skirt. "Please, My Queen," it squeaked. "Help him." The large eyes of the creature looked to be close to brimming with tears, and Susan felt a surge of compassion sweep through her.

"Fear not, kind mouse," she said, bending to pat its tiny little head. "I shall do all that is in my power to do."

"Susan," said a voice, and Susan turned to find Aslan halfway through the opening of the tent. "Come, dear one. You have work to do."

Susan straightened and followed him inside, stopping for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the darkness of the tent. Almost instantly, her nose was assaulted with the smell of fever and sickness. She halted, frightened more that she had been when Tash had descended upon her. _This was the medical tent._

"Come closer," Aslan instructed her, and Susan looked up from the ground to find that Aslan had moved to the opposite side of the patient's bed. By the edge of the bed, she noticed a black shape and realized that it was Lenny, curled up at the foot of the bed.

With images of the English hospital being freshly awakened, Susan took tentative steps towards the bed. The sheet were rumpled and looked slightly wet, as though the patient had been sweating heavily. She stepped closer and heard the patient utter a mournful groan that sounded strangely like her name.

Another step, and she was at the patient's bedside. She pushed back the tangled black hair and gasped at the face beneath. Even with his face an ashen color, and his eyes dilated from the pain, Susan would know him anywhere.

"No," she whispered, falling to the side of the bed. "No, please no." She brushed some of the sweat from his brow. "Oh, Caspian, no."


	14. Fears Overcome

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and encouraged me to keep writing! You guys are awesome! Enjoy!**

Susan pushed back her tears, trying not to break down. Caspian's head turned to focus on her, and she watched as his eyes cleared from their cloudy, pain-induced haze to focus on her completely. "Susan," he whispered. The last part of her name came out in a groan, and Susan flinched as she watched a tear roll down his cheek.

"I'm here," she whispered, over and over again as she stroked his face. "I'm here."

Caspian gave a cry, and his body arched off the bed, making a horrid thud as it came back down. His head tossed to and fro, flinging beads of perspiration from his soaked hair. Susan's eyes roamed his body, unconsciously trying to pinpoint his pain and diagnose him. She bit her lip, never having felt so hopeless in her life. What could she do?

"Susan," Aslan rumbled from the other side of the bed. She looked up and met his gaze and he continued. "You must help him."

"I can't!" Susan protested, shocked. "I vowed never to put anyone in this kind of danger again!"

Aslan growled at her, and she leaned back reflexively. "That was before you realized the strength you hold within you," he informed her. "You have faith now. You are stronger than you were before."

Susan looked back at Caspian, who was biting his lip in an effort not to cry out. "What if I kill him?" she asked in a choked whisper. "What if I make everything worse?" Her mind was swept back to England, and visions of the woman she had killed swept through her.

Aslan smiled for the first time. "Things never happen the same way twice, dear one," he said.

Susan glanced back at Caspian and made up her mind. She would try, and she would have faith. If her faith in Aslan could help her banish Tash from his own temple, could not her faith aid her in this surgery? She nodded at Aslan. "I'll do it," she said, and rolled up her sleeves.

Aslan nodded, his mane shaking as he did so. "Everything you need should be on that table next to his head."

Sure enough, Susan turned and found the Narnian equivalent to English tools and smiled at Aslan. "Thank you," she said. She turned back to Caspian and bent over him. "Caspian," she asked earnestly, "where is the pain?"

With effort, Caspian managed to move his right hand down to a spot next to his pelvis. Susan looked up at Lenny, who was now lying in the corner with his paws over his eyes. "Lenny," she asked, "did Caspian get hit with anything in battle?"

Lenny pulled one paw off of his eyes and looked up. "No," he replied, and his voice was strained. "But he did run into a banister when he realized that you were gone. He ran around the castle looking for you."

Susan nodded and leaned down to whisper in Caspian's ear, "I assure you that I didn't leave by my own free will." She looked up at Aslan and asked, "Will you be able to make him sleep?"

Aslan nodded and stepped closer to Caspian. "Sleep, Caspian, King of Narnia," he said, breathing gently on Caspian's face. "Sleep, and be healed."

Almost immediately, Caspian's breathing became more regular, and his chest sank deeper instead of the quick gasps he had been taking. Susan undressed Caspian so that she could reach the spot and took a deep breath as she picked up the Narnian scalpel. She lifted her gaze to look at Aslan and whispered, "Guide my hand." He nodded, and she made the first incision.

Susan winced as the blood pooled around her hands, and she closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to stave off the nausea she felt sweeping through her. Operating on someone she loved was proving to be harder than she thought. She forced herself to remain calm, and she looked down, hoping to find what she was looking for. Sure enough, there was his appendix, inflamed and pulsing, just as she had thought it would be. That run in with the banister had caused the organ to shut down and revolt against Caspian's body.

With an ease that only came from faith, she began the process of removing the appendix. Her breath came in short little gasps as she tried not to pass out. Finally, the organ was removed and Susan began the painful task of stitching the incision closed. Each pass of the needle made Susan feel as though her own skin was being penetrated, and the feeling made her want to give up, but she persevered. Once the task was complete, Susan stepped back from the bed and glanced at Aslan. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked worriedly, her voice cracking.

Aslan took a long look at Caspian, still sound asleep on the bed, and responded, "If you have faith, he will be."

Susan nodded. She cast a glance back to Caspian and asked, "When will he wake up?"

"Soon," Aslan responded. He smiled at Susan, showing his teeth. "You should probably stay here for a while. He'll need to see you." Aslan nodded to Lenny, who had sat up and was gazing anxiously at his friend. "We'll wait outside."

Susan nodded and knelt next to the low bed, pressing her forehead into the sheets next to Caspian's shoulder. She breathed out deeply, closing her eyes and trying to relax all the muscles that had been tensed up throughout the surgery. He was going to be alright. Aslan had said so himself. "I did it," she whispered, drifting off to sleep. For the first time since her capture, Susan slept peacefully.

* * *

Time ceased to have any meaning in that dark medical tent, and soon, the shadows began to grow longer, and the sun seemed to dim its brilliant glow. Caspian's eyes fluttered open, and he glanced around, unsure of where he was. He felt a slight pressure against his shoulder and looked down, only to find Susan sleeping with her head turned towards him, her eyelids moving rapidly as she dreamed. He felt a wave of relief wash over him. It had not been a dream. She had really been here, standing over him and caring for him. "Susan," he whispered, almost reverently.

Her name, spoken from his lips, seemed to have an effect on her, even in her sleep, for she twitched twice, and then her eyes slowly opened, focusing on him after a moment. "Caspian," she whispered. She sat up quickly, and little black dots clouded her vision.

Caspian, even in the amount of pain he was in, noticed and asked, "How much have you had to eat?"

"Probably not enough," Susan replied evasively, not wanting to tell him that she hadn't eaten in two days. Apparently, Calormenes did not think that their sacrifices needed nourishment.

"You should get something to eat," Caspian told her, reaching a shaky hand out to stroke her hair. "Please."

"No," Susan said, scooting closer so that she could reach Caspian easier. "I want to stay here with you."

Caspian smiled, gently tugging on Susan's hair. "Well I'm hungry, so you might as well get something for both of us."

Susan smiled at his subtle way to get her to leave him, but she didn't argue. She quickly left the tent and went to find someone who could point her to the mess tent. She quickly found it and fixed two plates, ignoring the looks that were directed at her bloodstained sacrifice shift, and hurried back to the tent. Together, she and Caspian ate, exchanging stories of what had happened during the time they were apart. Finally, Caspian seemed to tire, and Susan stood up to leave. Instead, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Yes?" she asked.

"You operated on me," he whispered.

"Yes," she responded.

"You said you'd never do that again."

"Yes," Susan said again.

"But you did," he insisted. "Why?"

Susan bent down so that she could look right into Caspian's eyes. "I did it because I found my strength. I had faith in Aslan that I could do it, and I did." She smiled. "But it was hard." She pushed back a sweaty lock of hair. "I must love you."

"And I love you," Caspian whispered, pulling her down so that he could kiss her. Susan smiled into the kiss, feeling that she was, for once, right where she needed to be. Caspian's hand slid around her neck and he tried to deepen the kiss, but Susan heard the muffled groan of pain that the action caused and she drew back.

"You'd better rest," she told him, gently pushing him back on the bed. "I promise that there'll be plenty of time for that later." She winked at him and stood to leave. "I'll check on you a little later, but try and get some sleep."

Caspian was almost asleep before she left the tent. Smiling, Susan stepped out into the dying sunlight, and was surprised to see many more Narnians than there had been when she arrived. A bear noticed her confused expression and explained, "The Calormenes withdrew. They no longer want to fight."

Susan turned to found Aslan standing next to her, seeming to have come out of nowhere. "Is this true?" she asked hopefully.

The lion nodded. "It would seem that the Tisroc no longer wants to wage war against Narnia." His teeth shone as he pulled back his lips in a smile, and Susan could not help letting out a laugh as she threw her arms around the Great Lion.

The world was looking up. Caspian was going to recover, Narnia was well, and the Tisroc had been enlightened in a way that he would never forget. Nothing could spoil this moment for Susan as she looked out over all of her kind subjects, her hand resting on Aslan's mane.


	15. Golden Wedding

Practically the whole country of Narnia was at Cair Paravel, and every eye was fixed on her. Susan tried to look regal, and not squirm, as she slowly made her way down the aisle, but the excited stares from her subjects were making her nervous. She knew that they approved of her, and loved her for her courage, for tales of her experiences had been passed around for the three weeks that had followed the war between Narnia and Calormen. She tried to get herself to stop thinking so much, and turned to look at the man standing at the front of the throne room, waiting for her. When she did, her heart stopped.

Caspian, fully recovered, though still a bit sore every now and then, looked every bit as kingly as he ever had as he stood there, waiting for his bride. Although they had wanted a June wedding, both Caspian and Susan decided that it did not matter what season they married in, it just mattered that they loved one another. So there he was, standing at the front of the court dressed in dark blue and black, which looked so royal, that Susan caught her breath. _This_ was the man she loved. _This_ was the man with whom she wanted to share her life with. _This_ was the man she had faced her fears for.

She finally made it to the end of the aisle, and when she stood next to him, Caspian stretched out a hand to take hers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles in an effort to sooth her. His smile was on the same quest, and Susan found herself relaxing just at his gaze. She smiled back, and they both turned to stand before Aslan.

"Kneel," Aslan commanded, and hand in hand, Caspian and Susan sank to their knees.

The ceremony went on, but Susan barely registered what was being said. She said "I do," in all the right places, yet it was only when they came to their vows that Susan really paid attention.

"Susan Pevensie," Caspian said, his voice clear, yet so full of love that he sounded as though he was going to burst. "When you came into my life, I wasn't quite sure what to do with you and your family, but you taught me to have confidence in myself. I thought that I'd lost you forever, but you came back to me, and it was your turn to learn something." He took her hand and smiled. "You saved my life, literally and figuratively. Literally because you operated on me, something you vowed never to do again, and figuratively because you saved me from living alone and never having experienced love. You are my life, and my love. I love you."

There was a large collection of "awes" as Caspian finished, and Susan had to hold back her tears as she gazed at the one man she had loved for years. "Susan," Aslan said gently. "It's your turn."

Susan pulled herself together and took a deep breath. "Caspian, you have taught me so much. You were the one who showed me first that I was strong by myself. You loved me even when I didn't want to be loved, and you rescued me and my sister when we were in dire need of it." She smiled up at him. "You've rescued me from more than just Telmarine peril. You've rescued me from the guilt I carried. I love you."

More "awes" resounded around the room, and Aslan led the couple through the traditional vows now that their vows to each other had been spoken. Caspian's grin nearly split his face in two when Aslan pronounced them man and wife. He grasped Susan gently around her waist and kissed her, dipping her down almost to the floor. She laughed, and the Narnians applauded excitedly. Their Queen of Old had married their King, and they would rejoice, for this would undoubtedly begin another Golden Age.

* * *

The wedding dinner went for hours after the ceremony, singing and dancing lasting well into the night. Susan and Caspian sat at the head of a long, decorated banquet table, graciously accepting well wishes from the many Narnians who came up to them. Caspian finally pulled Susan onto the dance floor after watching her look longingly at the other couples dancing. "Caspian!" she protested. "I haven't danced to Narnian music in ages!"

"Well," Caspian responded, twirling her gracefully. "Now's your chance to start!" He pulled her body close to him and bent his head to whisper in her ear, "You have a lifetime to learn, with me as your dance partner."

Susan smiled up at him. "You'd better start teaching me then. I'm a slow learner."

Caspian snorted. "I highly doubt that." But he pulled her close, holding her swaying body to his.

Susan and Caspian slipped away, unnoticed except for a few of the wiser centaurs. They walked hand in hand up the staircase, exchanging smiles as Caspian opened the door to the untouched master bedroom that Susan had decorated previously, anticipating this night. Susan stepped inside, followed closely by Caspian, and the door had barely closed before she was in his arms, being kissed with a passion that only love can induce.

* * *

Susan found herself unable to sleep as the predawn mist drifted through the open window of their bedroom. _Their_ bedroom. A smile crept over her lips and she turned to glance at her sleeping husband. Gently, she slid out from under the sheets, slipping a robe over her body and creeping out onto the balcony. As she inhaled the fresh air, Susan smiled once more. What better gift could she have received for the folly of trying to kill herself? She had a husband whom she loved, she had found her strength in Aslan, and she was back in the one land she truly loved.

A pair of arms slipped around her waist, and Susan felt Caspian's body press up against hers. He kissed her ear lightly, and whispered, "What are you doing awake at this hour?"

Susan tilted her head back so that she could look upwards and backwards at her husband. "I couldn't sleep." Her hand ran along his jaw line lovingly. "I'm just so happy, I couldn't sleep any longer."

She felt Caspian nod into her neck, and they stood there for a long while, hands clasped together, looking out over the land they ruled. "It's wonderful, isn't it," Susan asked, breaking the silence.

"What?" Caspian asked.

"We are here. This is really happening."

Caspian smiled at his wife. "I'm ready for this new adventure," he said. "Aslan said that if we work hard, we could be almost as great as Queen Helen and King Frank." He gave her a gentle poke in the ribs. "They're even older than you!"

Susan pretended to be hurt. "Hey!" she replied. "Didn't your uncle ever teach you to respect your elders?"

Caspian realized that she was teasing, so he grinned broadly. "Nope." He hugged her tightly, and gazed out over his kingdom for a moment. "Perhaps," he said wistfully, "with Aslan's help, our rule can be just as wonderful as yours was back in the Golden Age."

"If Aslan wished for it," Susan replied with a nod, "then I would like that very much."

As if to answer their musings, the sun chose that moment to break over the tree line, bathing the two rulers in warm rays of pure, golden light. They smiled almost simultaneously, for this was surely a sign that their rule would be a prosperous, golden one.

The second Golden Age had begun.


	16. Epilogue

**A/N: This is the last chapter, and I'm so sad about that because this story has been amazing to write. All of you who have reviewed are wonderful, and I thank you for reading MY story out of all the other stories out there. On with the last chapter!**

"Caspian!" Susan called impatiently. "Caspian hurry!" She ran to her husband's bedside and shook him awake, but her plan was thwarted when Caspian grabbed her arms, pulling her down on top of him in one smooth motion.

"Now," Caspian whispered, still slightly groggy, as he looked lovingly at his wife, who now lay on top of him. "What were you saying?"

Despite her original efforts to pull him out of bed, Susan found herself snuggling into his chest. "Hmm?" she asked, not really having been paying attention to what her husband had been asking.

"I asked you what you were saying," Caspian replied, grinning as he traced the curves of his wife's neck with featherlike fingers.

Susan gave what Caspian supposed was a shrug and snuggled even closer to him. "I don't remember," she said with a sigh. She had almost fallen back to sleep when-

"Mom! Mom! Wake up! Wake up dad! Come on!" Rillian charged into his parents' bedroom, followed closely by his sister, Carissa. "Don't you remember what day it is?"

At this revelation, Susan shot up, having now remembered what had been her motivation for waking her husband up in the first place. "Caspian!" she cried. "It's today!"

Without waiting for a reply, Susan jumped off the bed, flying about the room to fling the windows open. She twisted around to scan her children's wardrobes and shook her head. "Rillian, go change into your green tunic. It looks so much better. Carissa, change into your gold dress. It goes so nicely with your hair." She shooed them out the door before either of them could protest and turned to her husband, who was making progress by sitting up in bed, watching her with a smirk on his face.

"Don't look at me like that, Caspian," Susan ordered, shaking a finger at him teasingly.

Caspian smiled and pulled himself out of bed, throwing back the sheets as he did so for added flair. "Alright, lady of mine," he said with a smile. "What should I wear for today?"

Susan realized that he was teasing, but she couldn't help herself. "Wear the blue and black outfit you wore for our wedding," she told him.

"But Susan!" he protested. "It's just for-"

"I know exactly who it's for, and that's why I want you to look your best." Susan watched as Caspian's eyes and body language started to indicate that he was going to refuse, so she took the few steps necessary to reach him and went up on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly. As she pulled away, Susan smiled as she watched Caspian lean forward almost drunkenly, silently thrilled that she had as much power over him as she did at times. "Please?" she whispered.

Caspian sighed heavily, and Susan knew that she had won. "Fine, but just this once."

Susan kissed him once more, jumping out of his reach when his arms snaked out to pull her closer. "Thank you," she said softly, and then she was off again, pulling articles of clothing out of the large wardrobe they had in their bedroom. It had forever been a joke of Caspian's that Susan had better not step into the wardrobe, for fear that she might go back to London and be lost from him forever. Such an occurrence, though, had never happened.

Susan pulled out two dresses, holding each one up to her small frame, and then, with a frown, transferring to the other one. Finally, she asked for Caspian's opinion. "Which do you think?"

Caspian looked from one gold, ornate dress to the other red velvet, and shook his head. "Neither," he said. He crossed to the closet and rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for. "This one," he said, his voice betraying certainty in his choice.

Susan smiled at the gown he held up. Why had she not thought of that? She nodded, and took her coronation dress from his hands, gazing fondly at the first dress that she had ever worn as Queen Susan the Gentle. This would be the perfect gown to wear today. They would love it! She hurriedly shed her nightclothes and dressed, pulling her hair back so that Caspian could help her lace up the back. She, in turn, buttoned some of the more difficult buttons for Caspian, who kissed her as a thank you.

Susan pulled her hair up and arranged it nicely, and then whirled around so quickly that she almost undid all her work. "Come on," she said, already halfway out the door. "We're going to miss them if we don't hurry!"

Caspian chuckled. "Okay, he said, slipping an arm around his excited wife. "I'm coming."

They met their children, changed and looking much better, outside their door, and both of them smiled. "I can't believe we're finally going to meet them!" Carissa exclaimed with a giggle. "I'm so excited!"

"So am I," Susan said, putting her arm around her daughter lovingly. "So am I."

The family descended the stairs, nodding and smiling to all the Narnians that passed them. They slipped outside, and almost immediately saw Aslan. The Great Lion nodded to the royal family and motioned for them to join him. Carissa, overcome with excitement, rushed up to Aslan and asked, "Are they here yet?"

The lion smiled at the girl. "Not yet, dear one. But they should be here any moment. I just spoke with them, and they were close."

Susan's grip on her husband tightened in excitement, as the family and Aslan waited. The sunlight illuminated the wide land before them, and soon, Susan could see a group of people walking toward them, and her heart gave a leap. A black streak came whizzing up, stopping in front of the family. "They're almost here, Your Majesties," Lenny panted, placing a paw on his chest to show extra emphasis of his exertion.

"Thank you, my friend," Caspian said, bowing slightly to the panther. His arm wrapped around Susan's waist, squeezing slightly. "Are you ready, lady of mine?" he asked.

Susan nodded, her gaze not deviating from the last place she had seen the group of people. "Yes," she whispered.

Rillian was the first to spot them. "They're here!" he exclaimed excitedly. And sure enough, they were.

Susan watched in amazement as, one by one, her siblings appeared, crossing into the courtyard of Cair Paravel. She identified the exact moment when they saw her, because their mouths dropped open. Lucy even squealed. "Susan!"

That one word, uttered from her sister's lips, snapped any band of self control that Susan possessed. She flung herself towards her sister, holding her tightly as she pressed her face into Lucy's neck, the tears flowing hot and fast. "Oh Lucy!" she cried. Lucy clung to her fiercely, shedding tears of her own.

Soon, the sisters pulled away from each other, and Susan repeated the action with Edmund, Peter, Eustace and Jill, so happy to see them all. They all started talking at once, and it was only after many bouts of laughter that Susan remembered her family. "Everyone," she said, motioning for her family to come forward, "this is my husband, and my two children, Rillian and Carissa."

"Caspian!" everyone cried, overjoyed. Caspian hugged everyone, and Rillian and Carissa stepped forward. Almost immediately, Edmund's eyes were riveted on Carissa, and Caspian and Susan exchanged a smile. That would be an interesting match to watch being played out.

Through the midst of the exciting reunion, Susan realized that Lucy was no longer as cheerful as she had been. "Why Lu!" Susan cried, stepping closer to her sister. "Whatever's the matter?"

Lucy looked up into her sister's face and smiled. "I was just remembering the night you disappeared. I missed you a lot."

Susan grew quiet and rather pale, but hugged her sister tightly. "I had a lesson to learn," she explained. "And I missed you very much." She looked into the faces of her family and friends, waving to the Professor and Aunt Polly when she saw them on the other side of the courtyard. "I have missed all of you so much."

Lucy shook her head once more. "It's a rather odd feeling to find out that one is dead, and then to watch Narnia disappear."

Susan nodded, understanding. "Yes," she said, "but just think. Now, we have all of eternity to be together."

Everyone smiled, excited to be in their old home once again. Lucy, though, put everyone's thoughts into words. "I just can't quite seem to take everything in." She looked around wildly. "Everything looks so different, yet the same as it used to, if that makes any sense."

Caspian and Susan both put their arms around Lucy's shoulders. "It does," Susan assured her. "And you have all of eternity to get used to it!"

**A/N: Well, that was it! Tell me what you think! And thanks again for all your reviews! :)**


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